Puros y Ron

KFC

2008-01-23T08:33:00.000-08:00

They're here! After a long wait, I finally got
a chance to smoke a Kinky Friedman cigar. Then another.
Then another.

These aren't gimmick cigars. The Kinkster has rolled
out an impressive line, featuring Honduran wrapper,
a Costa Rican binder and Nicaraguan & Honduran fillers.
It is a bold yet complex smoke, with plenty of body
but hardly any bite. It reminds me of a nice earthy
Nica puro blended with about 25% VSG. The spice is
every bit as nice as Ashton's masterpiece, only in
much more subdued amounts. The price is fair, the
construction is fabulous, and the Texas flag and
state map are on the band -- along with coyotes,
broncos and bluebonnets -- what more can you ask?

Absolutely freaking fabulous. I've had The Willie, The
Texas Jewboy (a hefty torpedo with an almost Graycliff-
like draw) and The Utopian. I'll guarantee that I'll
smoke more today, tomorrow and this weekend.

Kinky in 08. Think it over.

Slainte.

Illusione 2/3

2007-12-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

"Tre in uno." That is all you need to know.

The Illusione 23 Culebra is likely the best
cigar in the already outstanding Illusione line.
It features a nutty, malty bouquet with a hint
of cocoa. The body increases in strength and
flavor as you smoke, and for a full bodied cigar,
it develops very nicely.

The aroma is as you'd expect: nutty and nice
with a little spice.

Plus, after you've smoked the first leg of the
3, you realize that there are two more for
later on. Culebras: I'm bringin' it back.

And on the subject of cutters...

2007-12-07T09:42:00.000-08:00

While my Xikar multi-tool is still my
favorite cutter in the world, if I'm buying
a new one, it would have to be a
Palió.

The website is linked in the title of this
post. There are a lot of really sweet
design features to this cutter. It is a
perfect combination of form and function,
and the action is like a 1972 Stratocaster.

So, get one.

I'm seriously.

2007-12-07T09:36:00.000-08:00

Found a very nice smoke for someone who is
long on time and short on cash:

The Don Tómas (or is it Tomás?) Sun Grown
Presidente.

Retails between four and five dollars, has a
raisiny aroma on the leaf (though, don't get
your hopes up too high -- it isn't THAT kind
of raisiny) and it smokes long and rather
luxuriously.

Now, it is missing the spice one might want
out of a Honduran puro with a nice rosado
SG wrapper, but again, we go to the 7 X 50 for
under $5 card. It is a good cigar to add into
the rotation, as it will never offend the taste
while having enough strength to let you know
you've smoked something. A good all-around cigar,
with a surprisingly pleasant appearance.

Pick one up and try it, especially if you smoke
multiple times a day and don't drive a Continental
with platinum spinners.

More Illusiones

2007-11-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

Ah, finally got the latest Illusione shipment.

I'm torn, though. Has anyone come across a box
of La Flor DL 600's that had an almost sweet
aroma to them? Just had a box show up yesterday
that smells like a dream.

Well, I can resist anything save temptation.

A must-smoke

2007-11-17T08:55:00.000-08:00

All right: I won't be making any productivity
pledges on Puros y Ron. Just not enough time.

But I will throw this out: if you enjoy full-
flavored, rustic, bursting with bean (of the
coffee type) cigars, smoke the ILLUSIONE.

In particular, I'm addicted to the Illusione 68,
a 4 X 44 dynamo that is worth every bit of its
92 from Cigar Insider. Not for the faint of heart,
though. This smoke can sit you down.

Three-fourths of the way

2007-10-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. Have to admit, I spoiled
myself.

I started off Saturday with a Padilla 1948
Torpedo. An excellent cigar, just like everything
that bears the Padilla name. Flawless
construction, a robust, earthy flavor, and
that characteristic maltiness one comes to
expect from all things Padilla. It was way
too early to enjoy it with a MacAllan, but
that'd be a great way to do it. The 1948
isn't quite on the level of the Miami 8 & 11
or the 1932, but it is precisely what one
comes to expect. Increasingly, I find that
these are the best sticks coming out of
a certain city that shall go unmentioned.

I then commenced to watching the most exciting
football team in America. I hate to say it,
but that team would be the Oregon Ducks.
Dixon and that spread offense are flat-out
scary. If I were a team in bowl contention,
I can't think of a team I'd want to play
less than the Quacks, other than West
Virginia. The hairy dawgs put a beating
on Florida as I knocked back a few
Red Stripes, and all was well with the world.

Speaking of teams in bowl contention, I treated
myself to an Opus Perfection X while enjoying
the superb defense of a certain ball club from
the city of Lawrence.

While we're on that, and for what it's worth:

College football coaches, listen up. Field goals
are for Sunday football. Two touchdowns is never
a comfortable margin in the college game, and if
you have the ball on the five yard line, it is
better to go for it and give it over at the
opponent's one yard line than take or, as we saw
Saturday, miss a field goal.

I'm sure L'il Sammy
is pretty pumped about his Tigers, and though the
Gods of Mammon moved the Border War to the
godforsaken state of Missouri, I'm pretty excited
for that game as well. I think Missouri will
win easily, and I'm not upset. Think of all those
people from the West Bottoms to the Illinois line
that will get a chance to finally woo their cousin
into the boudoir if that comes to pass.

Our consolation here in Kansas will be that the
Jayhawks will always be one of the five most
revered basketball programs in the nation (football
is kind of a side project) and that in the
biggest scoreboard, The War, we are 1-0.
So don't get too frustrated by our cornsilk
smoking neighbors to the north if they're
feeling it after the KU-MU game. Like Reese
Witherspoon and Barton Fink, they're just trying
to matter.

Ended the weekend on a Padrón 1964 Torpedo. I
thought very hard on capping it with a Maximus,
but that might wait until Tuesday. Well, what
needs to be said about the Padrón or the Opus?
They are in the elite. I'd still take an 8 & 11
over both, but when those two are in your
weekend line-up, you've got nothing to complain
about.

Whaddya say, Cuvee?

2007-10-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

L'il Sammy's back at it! He's linked through the
title, which you'll want to do, because I've heard
they're using his url in keyboarding classes around
the country. If you can type it in less than five
minutes, you pass.

I am becoming more intrigued by Mikey Cusano's
Cuvee Blanc. I've smoked each size, and like
the robusto best. The diadema is a bit much,
but a guy could do worse with 2 free hours.

There's a really nice "cask" flavor to it, reminiscent
of some Bahia stuff. But this one is a mellow
to medium. Overall, it isn't for everyone,
but if you are a fan of a hearty red wine and/or
a nice Connecticut smoke with a touch of gusto,
it is worth trying out.

Quick hit

2007-10-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

The Red Sox come from behind.

I'll bet their fans won't be obnoxious
about this. The one saving grace of the
Cubbies ripping my heart out each year
is that, as long as we remain losers,
we don't turn into the once likable Sawks.

Cleveland will have to wait for LeBron,
it seems.

I feel like trying something new today,
but I am not sure what.

Though I've had them before, I haven't
smoked too many Padilla 1948 Lanceros.

College Football Saturday

2007-10-20T08:39:00.000-07:00

Ah, the week's finest bounty. The Premiership on
FSC and College Football virtually everywhere
else. Sadly, one needs GamePlan for the OBC at
USC, but there's always Southern Cal taking on
Punt Jesus in South Bend.

Or, if you're interested in something we like
to call "football," there's UK v. Florida. Now,
that'll be nice. I'd love to take the Cats, but
with Florida on a two game skid, I have to go
with the Gators. Tim "Rusty T-bone" Tebo losing
three straight? Hard to see that happening,
no matter how good UK looks right now.

On a diminished plane, but still interesting,
KU plays Colorado in Boulder on ESPN. As much
as I hate to say it, I'm betting against both
UK & KU. Basketball season is less than a month
away, guys.

What to smoke? Well, last night closed strong
with a Graycliff Château Grand Cru Chairman. Hard
to beat that, so I doubt I'll try. A good pairing
for UK or KU will be... lemme check the humidor...
AH! Maximus Robusto #5. Sweet.

Number Two Falls.

2007-10-19T08:26:00.000-07:00

You think a guy has to be corrupt to hold
public office in New Jersey... what in the
world does he have to do to be a ref at a
Rutgers game? I have seen a lot of dodgy
things in the sports world, most of them in
the World Cup, but last night was off
the charts. Completing a fourth & 22 and
getting an offensive pass interference call
once the zebra saw the sticks?!?

Well, my hopes of a BCS blowup seem by the
wayside now. Once OSU gets through the
laughably terrible Big Ten, they (or
Oklahoma) will enjoy an LAPD style
beating at the hands of whichever team wins
the SEC or PAC 10. (Don't count out
The Old Balls Coach, though. The REAL
USC looks tough, and his plan is coming
to fruition week by week.)

So, what about cigars?

I think I'll have to temper my Bulleit pairings.
I learned a lesson for the 15,962nd time: whiskey
can get you drunk. Last night's smoking continued
the Oliva kick, with a Serie G Double Robusto and
some more Serie O small cigars. The Serie G remains
my favorite budget cigar. What more can a person
ask of a $4 stick than a silver ash, great
construction and appearance, and a medium
bodied, earthy Nica taste? I don't go for
that big of a ring typically, but it fits
with this cigar. Now, to the big boy:

The Casa Toraño
Maduro Lancero

Freaking madoooro!

If there's a hot cigar in my area, it is
unquestionably the Casa Maduro lancero (Toraño linked
above in the post title). This is a winner any way
you look at it.

Retailing at about $6, this rich ebony beauty has
all the characteristics of a cigar in the $10 range.
Think Padrón 1964. Don't think too hard on that,
there's a difference, but if you like one you'll
surely like the other.

Producing great stuff in the $5-7 price range is
what Toraño does best. Their Noventa is a great cigar,
but it doesn't match up with their Casa line in
universal appeal.

The construction on the CML is very good. Smokers
always seem a little worried that a lancero won't
draw well... usually nonsense, and if your lancero
doesn't draw, consider buying from a good cigar
company. There is one tiny nitpick: the pigtails
on the ends are inconsistent. Some of them spread
out on the head in Padilla like glory, others are
nonexistent. Once you cut it, that problem
vanishes.

The best way I can put it, and the specificity is
credited to Diamond Donnie of The Village of
Larry, is that it is like smoking a tootsy roll.
The flavor is rich and a touch sweet, and the
presence of cocoa is easily discerned. I liked
my CML quite well, but the reception among other
smokers is remarkable. At Centro Cigars we
got two boxes in on Monday and they were devoured
by Wednesday. Though my palate is pretty developed,
I'll accept the widespread judgment of smokers
whose taste I know almost every time.

The consensus says get 'em if you can, and you'll
probably want to pick up as many as possible.

Now, a Public Service Announcement

Just a quick mention to all you web savvy smokers.
If you have a cigar store within a reasonable
distance of your home (most people outside of
West Texas do) then please
don't contribute to their demise by buying online.

Is a website going to give you accurate and
personally tailored advice? Is a website going
to replace your plugged cigar or hand you a
freebie VSG because the foot got nicked and you're
a good guy? And what are the chances that
your state or federal government isn't going
to come down on online tobacco sales? Where
will you go when that happens? Not your local
store, because they have closed shop because you
had to be an asshole and save $10 a box.

Did you save $10?

At Centro, a VIP gets a 20% box discount, and everyone
gets 7%. We have weekly promotions and events that
the smart shopper can save up to 30 or even 50%. And
the state revenuers won't be knocking, because your
tobacco tax is paid when you purchase.

Most cigar stores will have options such as these
for a smoker on a budget. They'll also look at
that Colibri with ignition problems or replace
your Xikar if you somehow manage to break it.
If you don't get first-rate service, like you would
at Centro Cigars in Lawrence or Diebel's in
Kansas City, demand it and you shall receive.

It isn't getting any easier to be a smoker in
The United States, and it doesn't serve anyone
to undercut those who offer you refuge and
usually a place to sit and enjoy, say, a fine
Padilla 1932 Churchill, in peace or while
watching the Old Balls Coach throw his visor.

Come back into the fold. In a world of judgmental
jerk offs, the neighborhood cigar store provides
a solitude and fellowship you can't even get in
pubs these days. Even assuming you save a few bucks,
which you often don't when all is said and done,
what price would you put on these comforts in a
world gone mad?

Ponder it, then do the right thing and buy local.

Mini Madness

2007-10-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

It has been awhile, and my links need some
updating. For now, just click the title
of this post to go to Oliva Cigars.

Here's the scoop: I am in love with the
Oliva Serie O Habano minis. It has all the
creamy malty goodness one can expect from
an exquisitely crafted Nicaraguan puro, and
it goes fantastically with a neat Bulleit
Bourbon.

The roll is among the best I've ever
experienced... and I'm not talking strictly
about small cigars. This is one that you
choose to smoke 3 of in a row rather than
take in one large cigar. I'm blown away.
Really.

The smoke is elegant and unconfined, the
flavor is both delicate and assertive, and
the size is ideal.

As much as I'm loathe to say it, this little
cigar trumps even the Bahia Tico.

Best mini (outside of Cuba... or so I'm told...)
EVER.

To tie up loose ends

The El Primero Mundo Connecticut has a ton of
flavor. Nicaraguan and Peruvian fillers stand out
prominently. Of all the E.P.M. line, this may be
the best, because the mellowness of the Connecticut
Shade wrapper serves as a piquant counterpoint to
these robust tobaccos.

The Oliva Serie V (V or V. -- Vee or Five, guys?)
is the only smoke I can put up there with the
La Flor Dominicana Ligero Cabinet. The figurado
retails (taxes and all) for $8.80 in the
Village of Larry. It is a neat trick to compete
with Litto, and almost no one does it, so a thousand
compliments to Oliva again. I hope this doesn't
go to their heads. The sweet price helps to make
Oliva stand out.

And now for something
completely different

For our premium smokers, it doesn't get much better
than the Padilla 8 & 11 Robusto. Just flat out the
best cigar out there not touched by the magical hands
of Avelino Lara. I smoked another 8 & 11 Robusto tonight
with a Bulleit, and I was in heaven.

Happy smoking.

In case you didn't know, SEC Football rules.

Paging Mr. Jett. Paging Mr. Jett

2007-10-17T11:45:00.001-07:00

It has caused considerable strain and stress
to Stephen Jett, Esquire, as well as my legion
of loyal followers, that I have fallen off the
face of the blogosphere.

Did I quit drinking?

Did I quit smoking?

Did I "end it all" after the Portugal World Cup
fiasco?

The answers are, respectively: only port wine
for a year as a part of my personal boycott of
Portugese products; NEVER!; and obviously not.

Well, here we go.

I'll come back with two recommendations, but I am
pressed for time, so details are to follow.

1. The Oliva Serie V
Any size, but the Double Robusto is quite nice.

2. The El Primero Mundo Connecticut
I hear you. "Connecticut? Really?" This is a seriously
flavorful cigar. Trust me.

Details and pairings coming soon.

Hello, Mister Jett.

2006-06-15T11:37:00.000-07:00

ENGLAND WINS!!!

not impressively, but
6 points is 6 points
& I might have 6 pints.

The most wonderful time of the quadrennial

2006-06-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

Couldn't be any more entertaining right now in the puros
y ron world. The greatest sporting event on earth
is in full swing and what finishes we've had!

Just today, Tunisia drew to a miraculous tie in
injury time and Deutschland barely defeated Poland
in the 90th Minute.

England has their 3 points, working on six tomorrow.

Even the Spaniards and Italians are playing quality
football! (Give it a week or so.)

Go to The Guardian for the World Cup blog and best coverage.

Cigar world? Well, this corvus has lit through scores while
watching the Cup Group Play and I will hit the highlights
tonight:

1. The Cusano Corojo.
Really. A cigar reminiscent of the Cuesta Rey Centro Fino.
Nice rosado wrapper, beautiful balance and complete consistency.
All this and more for well under $6. (Under $5 in a robusto.)
I encourage all to visit Cusano's website and let 'em know how you
like them if you get the opportunity to smoke one. All you Camacho
lovers, think "after breakfast."

2. The Los Blancos 98 Criollo.
A superb belicoso with a Cubanesque light, build & finish. More to
come on this one.

3. The Arturo Fuente King Bee
Not quite the 8-5-8 Sun Grown, but just about as close as you
can get. A nice follow up to a pizza pie.

AND AGAIN, THE CIGAR OF THE MONTH FOR ME:

4. The La Flor Dominicana Oscuro Cabinet L 300.
What else could I choose? Litto Gomez has made the Beckenbauer
of spicy smokes. Easily the best cigar for the money IN
THE
WORLD.
Plus, he's a goalie. The Ukraine could've used one of those today.

God Save The Queen. Really, she has Beckham's hair gel.

Freedom of Speech

2006-05-12T20:12:00.000-07:00

Editor's Note: The opinions of BoBo are solely his own
and do not reflect the editorial views of Puros y Ron.
Incidentally, the Graycliff Chateau Grand Cru PG is
one of the finest cigars to ever touch your lips.
Nostrovia. -- the crow.

Yo ho there, kiddos! Bobo the cigar smoking bulldog here again.
I've got a dogg-rocket update for ya'll. My birthday was yesterday,
and I thought what better way to celebrate than light up a good stogie!
I looked through the kennel, wondering what to select, and then I
spotted it -- the Graycilff Chateau Grand Cru Solomon - the love
child of Prof. Hoody and AvoLE05!
I popped a squat on the porch, lit that badboy up, and my night was...
well, my night slowly started to disappoint. We're talkin' a gradual fall like
all of USC's boys on draft day, here! First off, the thing didn't draw very
well to start up. Now, after the teat became ash and I smoked another
inch or so, it finally started to open up. But, c'mon...that should've burnt
like a dream from the get go! After I was able to actually get some
smoke outta the thang, the flava really started to set in. It was like...well,
it was like, not that great. Pleasant sure. A nice full body, hints of spice,
uhh...yeah, dunno what else -- don't think there was much. I looked down
at what was a dogg-rocket in the making in disbelief. "You're telling me
that not only did you start off drawing tight, but now you're not even
gonna develop any flava?!?!" What was going on here?! Well, at least it
was smooth, no, wait...check that. Not so smooth. Not near as smooth
as a Paul Garmirian 15th anniversary that's about half the price. The
flava was no where near as developed or pronounced as (to put it in
canine terms) --the bitch that bore it-- (AvoLE05). The damn thing
even bit my tongue like it was pipe tobacco! Why even writing this I can
hardly believe what I type.
In fairness, was this cigar the worst drawing cigar I've ever smoked?
No. Was this cigar the blandest cigar I've ever smoked? No. Was this
cigar the harshest I've ever smoked? No. It wouldn't even get mentioned
in the argument for any of these categories.
BUT COME THE FUCK ON MAN! TWENTY FIVE FUCKIN'
DOLLARS!?!?! More than 2 LE05s?!?! Barely less than 2 PG
15ths?!?!? You gotta be kiddin' me. Bottom line-- this was a
good cigar, hell... probably even better than I've made it sound.
But I'll tell you this. For 25 bones (not to mention the enticing
aroma it exuded pre-light) , it had better crack the list of names
to be mentioned when discussing greatest cigars one has smoked.
And I'm sorry. It didn't. And I wanted it to-- I really did, I believed the hype,
reached for it when I should've reached for a proven commodity, and
I got let the fuck down (like the Saints will after blowing a high draft
pick for a kick returner/2nd best back on USC's '05 squad). So, this
can be summed up like so: for $25, a dogg. Well, I'm off. Gotta make
it into tha dogg house before the crow comes and pecks my eyeballs out!
Ciao turds!

That's right, Free Cigars

2006-05-04T17:45:00.000-07:00

A few tidbits for all.

First, you may have noticed that Puros y Ron has
a veritable rogue's gallery of correspondents. Guest
commentators on the blog submit via e-mail (which,
incidentally, can be reached using the link in my Profile)
and after some editing, if required, I post the review,
thoughts, &c. Though you may see my name at the
bottom of a post for BoBo or Tu Jacques, I assure you
that all content under those names comes from the
actual reprobates that post under those aliases. What
I'm getting at here is that I don't always agree with
the comments or observations that appear on this
page.

I say this because the crow's crowd can be a rough one.
And because BoBo has sent me a review which shocked
me due to its slanderous accusations and nonsensical
nature. I have discussed the issue, and feel he is quite
determined to share this piece of writing on the page
(there is no eraser, BoBo... be advised) despite my many
rejoinders that he might think over what he is about to
say. To no avail.

I believe in free speech. Even foolish speech. Even offensive
speech. BoBo provides all three, sometimes within one dependent
clause. So in the days to come, you shall see something from
him that flies in the face of good sense and good taste and you
must be aware that I do not for one second condone his
trifling screed.

Alright, onto better news.

This fall will mark a real milestone in the cigar world.
I can't go into details at this time, but know that readers of
Puros y Ron will be on the ground floor. They will also be
the only ones to receive FREE CIGARS
FROM SOME VERY NICE
COMPANIES (FUENTE/NEWMAN
COMES TO MIND) once the ball gets rolling.

Keep your mimbres on, chubby Guayabera wearers.

We are through the looking glass, and on this side you can
smoke wherever the hell you bloody well feel like it.

EXCELSIOR!

Gray Cleeeef

2006-05-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

Simply put, you MUST GET A GRAYCLIFF
GRAND CRU.

I NEEDED TO POST THIS HALFWAY IN.
(As Tony Borhani says, and I am paraphrasing,
"Only an asshole would tell you what he thinks of
a cigar less than halfway through." Editor's note:
Tony used no profanity in the actual statement.
Second editor's note: the boozecrow scarcely
survives a sentence without using profanity.
It's becoming a fucking problem.)

NOT WITHSTANDING, AT THE 53%
MARK OF THE PG GRAND CRU, THERE
ARE NO SUPERLATIVES TO ADEQUATELY
DESCRIBE THIS FANTASTIC TASTE
SENSATION. I HAVE TO FINISH IT,
BUT THE FIRST 3 INCHES ARE WELL WORTH
THE $18.95.

LATE.

2006-05-01T08:23:00.000-07:00

O boy! Soon I will smoke a Grand Cru PG. Can't wait to let you all know. Maybe during the Pistons game tonight.

I'm sure Tu Jacques La Flor will have his own take, and BoBo
as well. The mighty crow shall be the first voice on this site, though,
provided Stephen Jett, Esquire doesn't post a comment before I'm
done smoking it.

I can tell you from the smell that a theory is developing.

It was a dark night in Santo Domingo. The crabs were dancing on
the shore in disjointed rhythms which highlighted the sensual
shakings of a young lady, coveted by all (especially Mobb Deep)
and known by many. She called out across the islands, this
temptress, all the way to Nassau.

At the time Neil Young's "Captain Kennedy" played on the
radio. The siren scrambled the signal. She had this power,
for she was none other than the LE 05, which though
rather phallic in appearance is indeed a fine fine lady.

This aroused the attention of our hero The Hoody, who
shot up from the rolling table of one Avelino Lara and caught
a military vessel by pulling himself aboard starboard side
via the mooring lines swinging from the smoke deck.

The sailors grudgingly handed Hoody a new pair of coveralls
(incidentally, if anyone in the U.S. Navy is interested in
being issued a new pair just take a day of liberty and come
aboard a refugee, but I digress) which he didn't plan on
wearing long after landing in the Dominican.

Chasing the crabtrails, our Patron Saint of Balanced Flavor
and Exquisite Roll soon found Miss LE and ravished her.
Then rogered her roundly.

Before daylight, the two young lovers headed back for
Nassau to evade the Evil Duke Kelner who had no
interest in seeing the prophecy fulfilled by their breeding.
(Remember the witches in Beastmaster?) After two
months under the watchful eye of Enrico the Munificent
(what'd you expect? cigars don't have the same incubation
period as human beings. Jesus, read your anatomy texts
people!) a baby was born.

Lady LE was never heard from again, though some nights
she walks Blue Springs in a long black veil. The Hoody
divides his time between the Caribbean, London and
Shawnee, Kansas. Their lovechild, the Graycliff Grand
Cru (Crewie) has come to smite those who would replace
his mother with a feeble betittied imitation!

On a related note, Puros y Ron's cigar company of the year
will be forthcoming. There will be a deliberate and
careful study before announcing the winner. I invite all to
comment and vote, though this blog resembles an Ohio
Diebold machine. So, yeah, I'll determine the winner but
you can participate in your civic cigar duty to make yourself
feel good. For those of you looking to vote "Joya de Nicaragua"
I'm aftraid the lines will be long.

Very long. Suggestions?

2006-04-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

2 Games to 0.

Chauncey must've known, because
he scored 20.

2006-04-25T19:50:00.000-07:00

BOO-FUCKIN'-YAH Y'ALL! Bobo the cigar smoking Bulldogg's back! Seeing as how my owner's a discple de-la Joey Ratz, he decided that since he was gonna give up stogies for Lent, I should too. The nerve, I would just bark and bark every night, but to no avail... he never once put a stogie in my kennel! Guess I shouldn't bitch too much, at least he still but the food in my bowl! On Easter morning, Jesus rolled back the stone from the tomb, and Bobo rolled back his humidor lid!
At any rate, let's get back to what's important -- me smoking cigars! I got things started with the new Davidoff 100 year Diademas Finas. What a nice smoke! I lit the teat in the breezy morning air, and that thing burnt even the whole way down. It built in the middle, mellowed down again, and picked up a bit of pizzaz as my whiskers started to singe. It was a really nice smoke: $23 nice?... you decide. That night I kicked it up with a Padron '64 Torpedo Maduro--nuff said!
The next day I smoked what would be the first of many of Litto's cigars, a Ligero Cabinet 200. Teeming with flava, a great lil' smoke! That night I had an LE 05. Hot Damn! it had been a while since I had that beaut! It is the equivalent to a fine slice of prime rib! Lush, chewy smoke, smooth as butter! Loads of flava! Damn near beats lockin' my gonads in on the poodle next door!
I followed that up with 2 more of Litto's offerings: a DL 660 and a Ligero Cabinet 500 during poker night at Cassius Coolidge's. Both of 'em were polar opposites of dog rockets! The week was rounded out a Cuesta Ray Centro Fino, and a Ligero Cabinet 300.
But Sunday, April 22nd was a day that will go down in the Bobo cigar annals like LeBron's trip-dub went down in Elias' stat book the day before. After stuffing my face with a hearty lunch, I lit up one of Litto's Double Ligero Churchill Especiales Pigtails, and boy oh boy, what a cigar! By no means does this cigar lurch out as the best of the previous list...but it was. Not to double SHAT-eau on my favorite Avos, but the cigar gods aligned all on this one. Maybe it was the meal, maybe it was sticking my face outta my owner's car window during a post-meal ride-along, maybe it was bagging that poodle, or some combo of the three, but on that day, that cigar was it! Strong, but smooth -- mellow, but powerful -- it defied all description. I'd hate to be the boys at CA and have to try to describe this with all their bogus words: orange peel; rose petal; leather; smacked by red meat; mushrooms (what the hell are they describing anyways, the screenplay for Broke-butt Montain?!?). This cigar can be summed up in one word: great! That cigar had a commitment to pleasing the smoker the way David Glass has a commitment to losing! Hot Damn!
Well, kiddos, the kennel's a callin'! Off to the kennel...gonna put on some Tu Jacque La Flor and just chill. Ciao turds!!!!!

For Cinco de Mayo, Just Say Hoss

2006-04-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Had a very nice cigar last night while watching my beloved
Pistons put it to the Milwaukee F... er, Bucks. Hey T.J. Ford,
that guy making sweet love to the nets in your dreams is none
other than Chauncey Billups! Sorry, it's going to be a long four
games for you, buddy.

But this ain't basketball and booze, so onto the cigar.

The Jose Seijas Signature Series 2000 features an
Ecuadorian wrapper, Dominican binder, and Dominican, Peruvian,
and Nicaraguan filler tobacco, all of which has been aged
for three years.

A full and thoughtful review is provided by cigarpad.com, which is
linked above. One note not mentioned in it is the citrus. I don't know
if Big John was fooling around with my mind, but if he was it worked.
3/4 of the way into this delightful and reasonably powerful cigar a
distinct note of lemons followed me for nearly an inch. I have yet to
dislike a cigar with Peruvian filler and I'm not starting now. If you
are even a minor fan of Ecuadorian wrapper leaf, this stick is a must
try. And if you are gearing up for Cinco de Mayo celebrations, you
couldn't have a better compliment to authentic Mexican cuisine,
a Sol with a lemon or a nice reposado. Trust me, it is a perfect pairing!

The review linked cited the limited availability and price. For those of
you out there dying to try it, give Diebel's in Kansas City a call--
816-931-2988. The price from Diebel's will be better than that listed
on cigarpad and of course they ship.

There's the high end. Now to the budget recommendation.

The Roller's Choice Lonsdale, which is made at the MATASA factory.
I lit one of these up on a particularly stressful commute (paired with
Wild Oats spring water) and enjoyed every last bountiful blow.
This is a great everyday cigar. It is exceedingly mild. So much so that
many smokers wouldn't share my enthusiasm. But it is surprisingly
satisfying. (As those who know me would attest, my favorite cigar
is the Bahia Gold Churchill, and the Camacho Corojo Diploma is well
within the top 10, so airy cigars aren't my forte.)

The part I enjoy most about the mildness in this particular Connecticut
Shade Dominican is that there is no level of hot boxing that will
bother the sinuses or throat. I was blowing more smoke out of my
nose than many do out of their mouths and never felt an unpleasant
pull. Towards the end, I couldn't resist inhaling it like a cigarette
just to see how mellow a cigar could actually be. No cough.
The price is great, and this cigar could be consumed conceivably
anywhere under any circumstance. There is flavor, though, and
it is a nice one. No analogues come to mind at present. Guess I'll
smoke another one now and get back to you.

Serefe.

A new beer and a tough study

2006-04-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

Though the website informs me that Tona (with a ~) was
originally brought to the Estados Unidos Imperialis in
2003, as of Friday it was new to me.

And what a discovery! I am cynical towards the marketing
("Drink exotic" "just say tone-ya") but you can't fault the
flavor of this fine Nicaraguan lager. At present, no Contra
stooge is found to be responsible for it, so I'll keep on drinking
it. Ingredients from Washington and Germany coupled with
Nicaraguan well water (and I am well after drinking the water!)
make for a south of the Rio Bravo treat that has just a bit
more kick than the usual cerveza. I salute you, Tona. I suggest
a Honduran or Habano with it, as Nicaraguan cigars would
overpower the delicate beauty.

Speaking of cigars, the boozecrow took it upon himself to
sample various milder Dominicans over the last week in order
to arrive at helpful conclusions for the discriminating smoker
bereft of free time.

The sample:

1. MONTECRISTO CLASSIC CORONA
2. MONTECRISTO WHITE CORONA
3. MONTECRISTO PLATINUM (guess what) CORONA
4. ASHTON CABINET PERFECTO (not sure of the number)
AND
5. LA FLOR DOMINICANA RESERVA ESPECIAL CHURCHILL.

Not to suck off Litto any more than necessary, but the winner
was the La Flor in a walk! The first four had that elusive combination
of a staggering pricetag and an even more staggering lack
of flavor. The white resembles an Avo Classic without the
body; the classic a very good version of your local bundle; the
platinum a pleasant but strikingly unassuming smoke; the Ashton
an utter disappointment..... but the La Flor exhibited that coconut
essence I love in the finest Fidelitos. A ton of flavor at a modest
price. See, that's what I'm talking about torcedors! If you throw
too many balls down the middle, your competitors will smash it
out of the park faster than you can say "clear and cream." Of all
people, Dominicans should know this!

Best cigar this week.

What's that?

Do I hear BoBo barking outside my porch?

I thought I castrated that cur long ago.

I found that essence rare: Smoke no Cuesta Rey Centro Fino before its time.

2006-04-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

The crow has landed again after a long hiatus. I've been
hard at work riffing with Ollie Stone on his new film.
I didn't know what Saigon had to do with The twin towers,
but he's the film genius.

Seriously, though.

I haven't stopped smoking, and I have a lot of catching up
to do. I had a beauty yesterday. The sky was blue and the
temperature mild, no hail or damaging winds as a chaser
to spring warmth in the Great Plains, so I had to indulge.
The cigar of the day was a fantastic Trinidad (I'm not sure
what the name of it is exactly, but it is a corona gorda with
a pigtail.) The cap came off like melted butter and it smoked
like a freaking dream. That tropical air had kissed this cigar
in a way you can only experience from the finer socialist stogies.

I may have mentioned this before, but I have come around
from the hardline position on Cuban primacy. The cigar that
did it was an unassuming lancero with an Ecuador sun grown
wrapper from Havana Dreams in Florida. Felix rolled it for
my birfday.

The problem with so many domestic offerings seems to be the
attempt to make it taste like a Cuban. This is like making
bourbon closer to scotch. One can appreciate the agricultural
offerings of the tobacco world far and wide. Variety seems to
be the key.

Take the Padron 1964's and 1926's. The genius in that line lies
in the fact that those earthy Nicaraguans boast no resemblance
to that Cuban taste. Still a great cigar, though. And for those of us
unwilling or unable to participate in the stateside black market
(ask Ry Cooder if the State Department is joking about this issue)
we'll have to face that only those puros taste like that. This isn't to
say that there aren't wonderful cigars in the Cuban tradition out
there for us. On a budget, the Rocky Patel Edge and Camacho Corojos
are splendid Cubanesque smokes. For the high roller, the Graycliff
Red and Blue labels are as good as any Cuban made.

Besides those, there are a whole lot of options for the smoker
seeking a wider variety for the palate. I'm coming to the conclusion
that those with Ecuador sun grown wrappers are the best option
in this field.

On that note, I smoked a Cuesta Rey Centro Fino Robusto #7
that had aged a year and blew my socks off. This cigar had
that quality that takes you back to your first (good) cigar and
reminds you why you smoke in the first place. I cannot describe
that sensation any other way, though a few cigars have it and
it doesn't say much for my ability to specify said sensation, even
in alliteration. The Centro Fino has "it" though. A splendid smoke
and attainable to most smokers, as it comes in a box of 10 for less
than $70. Put a box away and mark the calendar. By the fourth
Boveda pack swap you'll have yourself one hell of a time. It doesn't
age with the VSG, of course, but then again what does?

The highlights on the Centro Fino were leather and nutmeg. There
was so much leather and nutmeg I thought I was celebrating
Christmas on Brokeback Mountain! A great way to get into aging
cigars without blowing the month's cigar allowance.

In other news, the PAUL FREAKING GARMIRIAN 15TH IS
BACK, BOYS! I suppose it did so well they just had to put it out
on the market as a regular release... either that or I have been
made the butt of the cruellest April Fool's gag in modern memory.

I'll let you know.

O, Steeevie.

2006-01-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

A question came via e-mail. Thought I'd post it and see
if anyone wants to own up to the allegation.

"Bryan, I've noticed that a couple of the past contibutors on
your blog failed to get "out" of the University of Missouri,
Columbia, with a degree: what else do they have in common
with Tennessee Williams?
"Curious"
Key West, FL

Also, a few NEW DOGS that won't hunt and a deeper look at
"Chequebook Journalism" (Hey, if David Icke spells it "cheque,"
so do I!) in the wild world of cigar reviews.

PREVIEW: The Bolivar Churchill #11, eh? That tastes nine
spots too low to me.

Make rum punches, not war. Unless they're going after your rum.

Ringing it in.

2006-01-05T19:04:00.000-08:00

The New Year has been kind to the crow, friends. Though time
management issues have resulted in a long absence from internet
activities, they have not slowed down my love of leaf. If anything,
I've been away from the net because I am so busy doing my
research.

Research.

Well, I could just wait for some dipshit to run through a church and
tell me that the Avo Signature Lonsdale was better than this or that
cigar, or that the La Aurora Preferidos 1903 Gold (say it with me)
Co RO JO measured up to it's $19 price tag. While that might work for
Rita Cosby or The New York Post, I like to check my sources and
back it up with some hands-on confirmation.

As Mark Mangino says, "That's right, taking the time to check your
information." Here at Puros y Ron we tune because we care.

So here are the headlines for 2006.

Ended the year with a Graycliff Red Pirate. No folks, this wasn't
an angry pirate at all! Quite to the contrary. I have come to enjoy the
subtleties of the red above the more Brazilly Professional. Though
the price tag is daunting to some, I can't imagine life without the
offerings of Avelino Lara & crew. Perfect construction, balanced and
extremely complex flavor and aroma arrangements and a billowing
smoke that goes easy on the throat... it is a perfect cigar for all of
you folks who haven't battered your taste buds mercilessly with
overstewed full profile turds. I wouldn't be surprised to find out
that smoking Graycliffs actually cleansed the palate of all those lesser
smokes floating about. With the "except Cuba" caveat firmly in
place, shall we say: Greatest. Cigar. Ever.

Started the year right with an AVO tastetacular comparison smoke.
Knowing full well that the LE 05 is the best AVO, and maybe a
contender for best ever, (you've got your Cliff Camp and your
Uvezianheads) I endeavored to determine once and for all which
of the three main lines (this excludes Domaine for no other reason
than my not having one in the box) is the best.

First, there's the Avo Signature Lonsdale. A little dog handed
me this one, and I must say I found it delightful. It was my second
cigar of the year after the Paul Garmirian #5. But I digress.
The Signature is a tremendous cigar. It certainly has more spice
than the two to follow and no one in their right mind could fault
the construction. This notwithstanding, I still prefer the Avo
Classic #2. A beautifully made Dominican with a milder,
nuttier taste to it. There are also distinct dairy notes. All in all,
the Classic I fired up while watching the Domosexuals getting
it handed to them by Ohio State (I will not say "the") was a
tastier cigar. This gets to an old point: a spicier or fuller flavor
won't always make for a more interesting cigar, even if the
highest standards are upheld. Does the Signature have more
volume of flavor? Yes. More flavors? I think that goes to the
Classic.

But the best of the three, in my humble opinion, is the Avo
XO Intermezzo. A five country Hendrick Kelner effort, this
cigar is most notable for doing what only a fool or a rumdrunk
would conceivably attempt: it combines the spice and finish of
the Signature with the nuttiness and attractiveness of the
Classic and throws in twice the complexity as a bonus! My first
XO was given to me by Mikey Lynch... come to think of it, the
one I smoked while witnessing the Tide Ruh huh hole was also
a Mobb Deep joint due to a football winning. (Always pick Denver.)
After sampling the XO on five or six occasions, I must say that
I am in love with this smoke. At less than half the price of a Cliff,
it will be a regular in the stick stable. Hey, Davey dorf: this year,
just take the backstock of the LE's or the band off of the XO's for
the 80th!

Yesterday's lunch was a Bahia Trinidad Robusto. Here's the
thing with the Trinidad: it is a very interesting cigar with a profound
floral note at the light. This fact scares off some folks. But let it
burn for an inch or so and the cymbal crashes become undertones,
leaving you with a mellow Nicaraguan that makes everyone else
in the room want one just like it. If you're aiming for room aroma
(because as we all know, nothing makes you the most popular guy
on the dance floor like a nice cigar) this is the cigar. End of discussion.

Last night, while watching USC go for their first legitimate
championship of the 2000's I dined on a Tofurky Philly Steak
and an Urquell with a Graycliff Professional Robusto
chaser. There isn't much more to say about this, is there?
Spicier, but perfect in its own way. I once had a person tell
me he got nothing out of the GPR. I've also been told a fupa is
a lovehandle in some cultures, that doesn't make it make sense.
It has been proven: Graycliffs can fight off heroin withdrawal.
They are just that good, folks.

Well, night is closing in on this post. I will have to review the
Aurora (so named because they're rolled by Blackhawks fans
right after the game) on a later transmission. I'll sum it up for
those of you with a twenty dollar bill (or a winning football
bet marker to call in-- Thank you, JoePa!) clenched firmly in
your grubby tobacco stained hands: it is a great cigar, though
perfumy at times. An enjoyable smoke, and you can't beat the
tube which is only lacking "ribbing" at the shank. That said,
if you need corojo, go Camacho; and if you need to burn all that
at one time, consider turning towards Nassau to pray.

Good night, and good pils.

The Year In Review... Doggy Style!

2005-12-30T20:10:00.000-08:00

Hey there kiddos, Bo-bo the cigar smoking bulldogg here.
After I chomped down on some tasty pig's ears that were strait
outta the X-mas stocking, it dawned on me that the New Year is
drawing near. This has been a year of new cigars, in which
companies have anxiously churned out more new crap than
Coach Quinn Synder puts on the hardwood floor. We're talking
lots-o-doggs here (in the cigar world that is, although the same
goes for that Duke fluke). However, in spite of this slew of new
"limited run, limited production, master blended, limited release,
anniversary, serial numered, comemmorative, new and improved,
classic, technologically advanced" bullshit to hit the shelves of
tobacconists state-wide, there have been some true jewels.
So before I drop some knowledge on you all about the doggs of the year,
let me first say what was not a dogg rocket this past year:
First, in a move that boldly contradicts the rest of the cigar companies,
Litto Gomez has managed to put not 1, not 2, but 3...count 'em,
THREE great new offerings. What's so odd about this is not the number
of new sticks, (hell, "the big 2" have put out 18,000 new lines between
them, and not a one of 'em good!) but rather that all 3 of 'em are great!

First, the La Flor Ligero Cabinet. That cigar has a sweetness that
houses a sumo wrestler! What a beaut! And for about $6, hell,
what a deal. Then he threw down a lil variation by making the
Double Ligero Pigtail Especiales! Another powerhouse that has
more flavor than the outfit of an NBA player at a post-game
press confer... oh wait... Last, and certainly not least, is Litto's
Factory Press. A mammoth 60 ring gauger that is as smooth as
my nieghbor's poodle's ass. That smoke is loaded with aged tobaccos.
Not nearly as intimidating as it looks.

Next in line is Davey-dorf. The Entreacto is a great pre-dinner smoke,
and it's nice to see a Davidoff for less than $7. Then came the 6-star
Limited Robusto Intenso. This starts mild and slow, and then builds a l'il.
Somewhere between a special series and a millennium. And then came
true cigar bliss. The AVO LE 05.
WHAT A SMOKE! I bought about a box of those beauties,
and I bet they won't sit in the kennel for too long. That cigar is to the
world of tobacco what a 16 oz medium rare KC Strip from the Majestic
Steak House is to the world of food. An absolute champ! And don't bitch
about this cigar being a limited run. Like my pal the crow who hangs on
my fence post says "If you could only have just one night with Salma
Hayek you wouldn't turn it down, would you?" Preach on crow, preach on.

Now, having said that, the Avo LE 05 is the best, let me state that the
PG 15th is a STRONG number 2. Multiple flava' changes, starting mild,
and then building to a great full bodied smoke! A true treat. Reminds
me of how I think a cigar should be!

And worth mentioning is Rocky's "The Edge" line. A cigar that's priced
right, that has seemed to have taken off better than I would've thought.
No band, no fancy lookin' box, just a good cigar. Not a great cigar,
but never a dogg rocket.

And now on to the doggs. To determine true doggs, I used a complex
system called the Bad Cigars System, or for short, the "BCS."
There is always controversy about this BCS system, but my aim is to
line up the top 2 doggs next to one another, for a true dogg showdown.
(On a side note, "Hey, Oregon, quit bitchin about the BCS, a middle of the
road big 12 team hung a W on your supposed 'Pac-10 powerhouse' ass!")
But before I unveil my top 5 BCS doggs of the year, let me get to what
I refer to simply as: "The other turds"... The dogg rockets that weren't
quite good enough (or bad enough) to break into the rankings.

- The Peterson: Sure, not a bad smoke, but for $7 and getting those
lofty pre-season rankings of three "91's". C'mon, put up or shut up.

- The Don Juan: uh...I Don Juanna smoke one...even if it was free.

- The Maria Guerro. Once again, the same ol, flat tasting, boring,
nothin' to make it better than anything else-quality.

Okay, here we are, the BCS top 5 doggs of 2005:

5) Bolivar - just cause the Diablo had to get axed
(R.I.P. my fellow dogg, I'll see you when I get there...until
then I'll just piss on your headstone) doesn't mean you need
to put out another pseudo-spicy dark blah piece of crap.
And so much for reviving the name with the flashy marketing
campaign. Like an ol' bloodhound once told me, "You can put a
tuxedo on a turd, but it's still a turd."
The real revoultion needs to take place in General Cigar
Company's dept. of tabacco blending.

4) Matasa Anniversary Perfecto - Before you start hollerin' blasphemy,
lemme' explain. This cigar would not be a dogg in a vacuum, but for $13...
c'mon, I can get more flava' outta layin around the house
"giving myself a bath," to put it mildly.

3) "O" Classic. Boy, this cigar sucked! If replacing the "O"
Bold line (an actual good cigar) wasn't bad enough, you had to
go and strut around with that lofty, misleading, 91 rating. Boy,
what a waste of $5. This smoke has less flava' than MU head coach
Gary Pinkel has halftime adjustments (present day bowl victory
excluded, of course).

2) Partagas Black Label - Yeah, I know it's not a cigar that's been
released this past year, but what would the BCS season be
without this historical powerhouse, dogg of the ages?!? And, hey,
Mr. Robb Report, the only time that your any part of your name
and this cigar should be mentioned in the same sentence again is
if you're referring to how people get ROBBed of six bucks everytime
they buy one of these!

1) DON LINO AFRICA. Congrats Rhinos, Pumas, and Elephants,
you three are the offical mascots of doggs everywhere! What a stinker.
You're so bad, you managed to steal the Sears trophy from perennial
powerhouse "Partagas Black"!!!! I'd rather lick the musk outta my
bulldogg ass than smoke one of youse! This cigar tastes like a rotting
twig that's been marinated in sour, hot, morning piss! YUCK!!!!

So, there you have it, the Year in Review - Doggy Style!
Also, it has come to my attention that according to the Chinese calendar,
2006 is the year of the dog! So I'm gonna go find a nice, fat-assed,
sexy shar-pei to get freaky with! See you guys next year!

CIAO TURDS!
-Bo-bo

The Good, The Bad and The Jorge

2005-12-21T07:29:00.000-08:00

I've returned to smoking following a nasty bout with congestion.
The cough lingers, but I soldiered through.

On my fifteenth day of abstinence, I lit up an 8-5-8 Sun Grown.
And I smoked it, and saw that it was good. If there was one single
cigar that could make the case for being your every day smoke, this
would be the one. The cedar seems to have bonded to the very
essence of the tobaccos. A tremendous ride from match to tray,
employing just the right balance of spice and richness, the AF 8-5-8
Sun Grown could be the perfect cigar. I'll have to smoke a few
more to confirm this. O, I seem to have forgotten something... O, yeah!
The freaking thing comes out about once
a year at best, and twenty guys are always in
front of you, so good luck getting 1 box
let alone the nineteen or so it would take
to get me through the year!

So.

Last Saturday I enjoyed a two year old Padron 1964 Monarca
maduro. What is there to say? Earthy, rich, sweet and bouncing
with flavors, all of which are good, it was an ideal match to the
soy nog and rye whiskey, holiday tidings and tree decorating
to the Peanuts Christmas soundtrack. (The old one, not the lame
one with Celine Dion and all those other reprobates!) Really,
have you ever heard anyone complain about a Padron Anniversario?
If you have, did you ever take anything they say seriously again?
My only problem with the Padron is that it couldn't be an
every day cigar. It is best for special occasions. I know a few
guys who roll with 1964's on a regular basis. They practically smoke
nothing else! I can understand it, but Jeez, what do they smoke...
well, when trimming the Christmas tree? How about after a Pistons
championship? You've been smoking Padrons all year! What's
going to be that special after a 12 month run with Jorge?

After the transcendent and the triumphant, I took a turn to the
turdacious.

Being hit by the sun grown bug, I had an Arturo Fuente Chateau
Sun Grown Cuban Belicoso. (Really, does the name have to
be that long without some vowel breaks to give it a plausible
acronym?) While I won't go as far as to declare this one a true
blue barker, I will say that it was more than disappointing. I picked
up one taste: sour. The filler tobaccos must've been outright
skunky because I could tell that the wrapper leaf was quite
delectable. At first, I thought the Chinese food I'd had (spicy Kung
Pao with pea pods and bean curd) earlier must have stayed with
me even through the cigar, but my trustworthy companero, L'il
Sammy Mann, had the same reaction. And here's the odd thing:
we both adore the AFSG Double Chateau! Whaaaaaa? I don't have
an answer for this dilemma.

So, onto a new trend at Puros y Ron: Numeric ratings on a scale from
one to ten.

Arturo Fuente 8-5-8 Sun Grown: 9.6
Padron Anniversary Monarca Maduro: 9.3
Arturo Fuente Chateau Sun Grown Cuban Belicoso: 4.5

To illustrate scale, the RyJ Beli from the forbidden country, the
AVO LE 05 and Bahia Millennium Erico are 10's. The Rocky Patel
Missile CoRO JO is a 7.5, and the Partagas Black is a .5.

UPCOMING: Will Bobo grace us with a "Dog of the Year?" Stay
tuned.

2005-12-16T19:36:00.000-08:00

A NON-DOGG OF THE MONTH REVIEW:
Hey it's me, Bo-Bo the cigar smoking Bulldog, I hate to write my first ever column of "Dogg of the Month" with a twist, but let me give you a non-dogg; the La Flor Dominicana Ligero L-300. These beaut's are a great smoke. The one I smoked yesterday had been agin' in my kennel for about a year and a half, and boy did it show. It was very smooth and the strength picked up as I smoked it. It never got too strong though...not like a kick to the go-nads. It had a great finish, not too long, but not at all too short. And considering it's a mere $5 a stick, how can you go wrong?!? Look, I smoke dogg-rockets day in and out, and for me to have a good cigar, well...I know a good one when I smoke it. Nothin better than a Litto treat after a day of chasing some FUBAR'ed feline. This thing puts a pig's ear to shame! Well, off to "groom myself", ciao turds!
- Bo-bo

2005-12-14T19:57:00.000-08:00

Buh-buh-buh Billups!!!

Head Cold

2005-12-14T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, the humble crow has been out of commission for the last
fifteen days or so. Some nasty strain hit me about a week after
Thanksgiving and I haven't been right since. (Read: I haven't had
a cigar in two weeks!)

Just like our fearless leader, I won't let my lack of practical experience
get in the way of runnin' this muthafucka!

HOLIDAY RECOMMENDATIONS, TAKE 2:

The recent shipment of Opus Super Belis have a raisinosity that
is unmatched! I have had the power of smell back for a week, and
they is the shit, fool! This may be the most raisiny batch of Opi
to date. If it weren't for the persistent cough and swollen... I mean,
sore throat... I'd be puffing on one right now.

IN THE WORLD OF MINIS:

The Avo Purito is surprisingly good. Very reminiscent of the actual
Avo Classic line. Nothing could take the place of the Tico, but this
is a nice mild mini.

WHAT'S OLD IS NEW IS HOT AGAIN DEPARTMENT:

The Bahia Trinidad #2 is making its presence known in the
KC market. What's not to love? A great cigar at less than 6 bucks
with an aroma that makes those obnoxious nonsmokers ask for
more! I dare say that even Stephen Jett, Esquire would have it
on a lazy Sunday.

MOVIE PICK:

See Syriana. For a more in-depth take on it, visit The Flying Aspidistra.

NBA PLAYER OF THE WEEK:

Chauncey Billups.

And finally, LET'S RING IN THE YEAR OF 2006 AS
THAT OF THE HIP HOPERA. For those of you not
hip, R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" is the Purple Rain
of the 21st Century. I mean, a midget shitting himself? There
should be a whole new awards show just for this song cycle.
It's bigger than Grammies. Bigger than the Emmies. Bigger
than Oscar. Bigger, dare I say, than the Game. Pissin' like
Mike Lynch, act Like ya' know, Stevie!

As a Post-Script, we must address the Holiday on the move. Much has
been made of the Christmas v. Holidays battle. Well, I would hasten to
point out that the Right On Holiday for the 05 is actually Boxing Day.
It edged out Kwanzaa. And in a surprise move, Chanukah took 4th
Christmas, fifth. Sorry, Faux News! The third place holiday?

Chauncey Billups Day. Good night, and good Bit.

Great Christmas Picks Part 1.: PG15

2005-11-30T05:41:00.000-08:00

Let's say you're out one day looking for a great
gift cigar. Your boss has just given you that promotion
you've coveted. Your husband has been participating
in any form of housework. Your son has just finished
his first semester at college and managed not to
louse it up considerably.

In any event, you need that cigar. Look no further,
holiday merry-makers, The Paul Garmirian Gourmet
Series 15th Anniversary Belicoso is where it is at!!!

The exquisite wrapper leaf on this Dominican masterpiece
hints perfectly at what one finds inside: a smoke that
is magnificently balanced and incredibly complex.

I am not usually a fan of that particular adjective (or any
adjective for that matter) but "complex" is about the
only word I can use for a cigar that starts off so mild one
might be tricked into being disappointed then gradually
picks up flavor and snowballs into a delicate finish.

This thing walks in LE 05 territory, my friends.

The cost is prohibitive, but what's new with Garmirian
offerings? I wouldn't hesitate spending double on this
near perfect cigar. The advertisement hinted at a
taste found in vintage Habanos. This claim is pranced
around the square so often that it is usually best to
ignore it. In this case, though, there is a point.
While it is the quintessential Dominican (only a rube
could be convinced it was a Cuban) those notes of
spice in just the right places, paired with a puro-like
consistency, are reminiscent of our Fidel favorites.
So, while advertising is almost always bullshit, along
with reviews in a certain periodical (that post to follow
in the next few days: you are on notice, big M)
the advert for this cigar is on the money.

I cannot emphasize strongly enough how much I
recommend this cigar.

Stephen Jett, Esquire stopped by in the OP yesterday
in leisure wear, puffing on an Arturo Fuente Double
Chateau. For all you obsessive Jettistas, those are your
marching orders!

Ah, holidays

2005-11-27T10:32:00.000-08:00

Due to the time and space constraints of post-holiday
activities, I must make this short.

Go out and get the Insignia by Tony Borhani. A great
cigar with that certain something only Tony does. Alas,
I am not privy to what exactly that is (a well-guarded
trade secret) and even if I was I wouldn't be able to divulge
it, but it is done on the Insignia.

It also sheds light on why the Deseo is such a good cigar
value. It is a selective blend, to be sure, but one that every
smoker owes himself a try.

As I'd expected, Tony is a hell of a guy with an artist's soul
(his father is an accomplished poet, which came as no surprise)
and that comes through in the cigars. No doubt cigar making is
a labor of love for a lot of these guys, but to see Mr. Borhani's
eloquence and passion firsthand (as well as the attention to
detail, even down to the inside of the box -- God help the company
that screws up a side margin!) is more reminiscent of Pollock
laboring over a canvas or Ted Hughes with a poem.

Also unveiled were his new Mateos a Gold label with a short,
stout stature. Not the ridiculous rings we've been seeing, just
a fantastic little smoke at the right price, blend and size.

I have to admit, I am still overwhelmed by the Gold series, and
the Millenniums, still far and away my favorite cigars under the
sun, but with the new offering I expect to give a lot more reviews
in a favorable direction to Mr. Borhani.

Thanksgiving Greetings

2005-11-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

A happy Thanksgiving to one and all. The morning's first Entreacto
is about to be clipped, followed by a Bahia Millennium & a Monte 2.

Had an Anejo Shark last night. I enjoyed the notes of cocoa and black
cherry, but must admit that I'm not sure just why everyone is going
batty over the things. It seemed somewhat saccharine for my tastes,
and though one can't fault the construction and, thinking objectively,
the flavor, it is by a long stretch not my favorite cigar even in the maduro
category.

That being said, an announcement for what may soon become my
favorite cigar in any category:

THE BAHIA INSIGNIA,
WORLD PREMIERE AT DIEBEL'S
HAWTHORNE LOCATION
FRIDAY, 25 NOVEMBER 2005.

Sadly for Stephen Jett, Esquire, yours truly will be puffing away on
a few of them before he can get his grabby little paws on it.

Speaking of l'il, a wha' wha' to L'il Sammy Mann. Happy Thanksgiving.
(I'll bet he loooved the Broadway stuff at the Macy's Parade.)

A big thanks and Happy Thanks to Big John "Hessian" Hirte for making
the Borhani event happen... O, yeah, did I mention?

TONY FREAKING BORHANI WILL BE AT
DIEBEL'S CLASSIER HAWTHORNE LOCATION
TOMORROW, 25 NOVEMBER 2005!

Happy Thanks to all the Diebel's Peeps, 'specially Mike "Mobb Deep"
Lynch, who is right now bussin' a cap up in the ass of an Ozark
turkey, which he is mos' def initely fittin' ta fry! RMFT, bitches!

So have a Turkey or Tofurky, light one up with a glass of scotch
or, in the case of Mikey, a 40 of Crazy Horse, and enjoy the beatdown
Detroit is about to give!

The Private Stock #11

2005-11-20T13:28:00.000-08:00

Though I'm aware that there will be "variations" in
the line, I am more than pleased with the Private Stock
Number Eleven. My last two cigars before the P.S. were
an Avo Classic #2 & an Entreacto. Neither of those cigars
require introductions on the boozecrow.

My flirtation with the Private Stock began while looking
at some recent receipts. "If I'm going to continue at this
pace," says I, "it might be in my interest to find something
a bit more affordable." So far, the P.S. has it.

The sheen on the Connecticut wrapper wasn't the shining
beauty of a Davey Dorf Special or an Avo, naturally. The
burn was more than pleasant, and the flavor was quite
good. I detected notes of carob and hazelnut, and an inviting
room aroma. Flawless construction and tasty leaf at three
bucks a throw? Count me in.

The detriments are as follows: as previously hinted, only
a fourth of a box will have that near-pristine wrapper leaf;
and there will be inconsistencies of texture and probably
flavor, certainly construction. At this price, one can just
toss the less-than-stellar ones out the car window towards
the next passing car with a "W" sticker on it!

Can it cure Entreacto addiction? Of course not.

But if I want my loafers lightened, I'll check out a Broadway
musical. I can feel a fatter wallet already!

Where's my Urquell?

Bad Form

2005-11-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

I've got no manners.

Had people over, and when I walked in the door I spotted
a glass of Mac 12 with an ice cube in it.

Hadn't seen these good friends in 5 years, but still
I was compelled to cry out "What is that ice cube doing
in that single malt!?!"

Being a scotch Nazi is uncool.

I'll be smoking a Private Stock #11 on the drive home
from the Thanksgiving grocery run. Hoping to find a
buffer for the auld wallet from my Entreacto habit.

I will report.

Whew.

2005-11-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

Just a confirmation for all the doubters out there:
The MacAllan & Davidoff Specials (in my case, the
Entreacto) are perfect. For eachother. For everyone
else. Perfect.

I've been waiting for my resident ball lickin' dog
to get on in here and provide me with a column, but
he's been chasing traffic out in Raytown. When he
gets back to O.P. I'll put a leash on him!

Big weekend ahead. Avos & Bahias will be smoked.
I'm trying my best to get a few new ones in, but none
of us like disappointment, eh?

Should anyone have suggestions on a new and thrilling
cigar, comment away.

Stanford's Reserve & a happy addition to the household

2005-11-15T20:24:00.000-08:00

I see that Stephen Jett, Esquire recommends the new Cuesta Rey
Stanford's Reserve Cameroon. I fancy myself quite the Cameroon buff,
and I had one of these a few months back. A nice cigar. Aged well it
seems. Naturally, Cameroon leaf tapers off a bit with age. A very
fine cigar, yet lacking in the creaminess one desires in the La Unica
Cameroon. Given Mr. Jett's track record, I may well smoke another
one. Maybe I missed something.

The most recent smoke was a La Flor Double Ligero (I cannot divulge
the size) and let me tell you smokers out there: if you want to save
a bit of money on nose hair clippers, pick up a Double Ligero. A ton
of great flavor, but man! The strength is off the charts. It makes
an Opus look like a Nat Sherman cigarette, which I happen to be
smoking alongside a nice bottle of Fat Tire.

Speaking of libations... I caved! There was a nice bottle of The
MacAllan 12 year (link in title above) that just called my name!
Here's to hoping I leave it alone until Thanksgiving!

And what smoke should I choose after Tofurky and pie?
I'm leaning very heavily towards an LE 05. Other candidates
are the Bahia Millennium Diadema, La Flor Especiales, RyJ
Beli, Partagas Edicion Limitada 2004 and a VSG Robusto.
Special R might be nice as well. What to match with a great
Speyside single? Ah, decisions. It'd be an easy call in favor of
the RyJ, but I'm not sure when another will come my way.

Speaking of scotch and cigars, which I often do, has anyone out
there sampled the Dalmore Cigar Malt? Seems gimmicky, but
who knows? No, really, who out there knows? I can't be dropping
50 bucks on a whim.

Good night, and good drunk.

WANTED: Lancero Braceros

2005-11-10T17:06:00.000-08:00

Just finished a C.A.O. Criollo Mancha. Topping off the drive
with a cold Fat Tire, contemplating whether to go for an LE 05
from the new K.C. batch, a VSG Robusto or go wild and try
a new thing for review purposes.

As often happens with C.A.O., duality is a rule. This last Criollo
(not to be confused with Corojo, which we learn in page 183 of
2005's "Cigar Aficionado's Cigar Companion" Glossary is
"The most familiar size and shape for premium cigars: generally
straight-sided with an open foot and a closed, rounded
head.") was bounding with rich, earthy flavors one can only
experience in a Nicaraguan puro. The wrapper leaf, understandably,
is quite delicate-- not one you want while cursing through
an open car window at drivers on 435-- and something just
seemed off with the roll. The burn, when given correct prodding,
evened out; yet, there is something, je ne sais quois, that
could be improved. I have little doubt that the C.A.O. Criollo,
Extreme and Cameroon offerings are some of the absolute
best in the field and curing barn. I do not think they make the
cut for best construction. If the construction were improved,
I don't think there are many cigar makers who could compete
with the Ozgeners. As it stands, you won't get those flavors
anywhere else, and I am more than happy to forgive a few
flaws. It keeps up competition.

***

LITTO'S GONE FREAKING CRAZY!

When you get a chance, get a load of the La Flor Double
Ligero Factory Press. Stephen Jett, Esquire left a comment
a few posts back about it. What an ostentatious display
of smoking machismo! The thing's big enough to shut
Ann Coulter's mouth! From all testimonials I have received,
it is a surprisingly smooth cigar for the quantity of huevos
it carries. It would be a great companion for an entire
Pistons game with three overtimes.

Mea culpa, I am not yet man enough to tackle this big
dog.

I think I'll have another Especiales Pigtail while I think
it over.

***

Speaking of the Especiales, C.A.O. Extreme, &c., here's
an idea: We need more lanceros, panatellas, culebras and
classic (7 X 47) Churchills on the market!

Can I get a "Wha' Wha'" on that? Comments, Please!
I happen to know that a certain goalkeeping cigar maker
whose name starts with an "L" ends in an "ez" and has
an "itto (g)Om" (a sacramental prayer we say at the
auld cigar store to get our qi into balance) in the middle
reads this humble offering on occasion. Let's give
it up for the traditional sizes we've known and loved!

Don't get me wrong, companeros, I am all about the
new and innovative sizes and shapes; however, there
seems to be a conspicuous absence of these enjoyable
forms de cigar. How many great cigar makers out there
make a special lancero for friends and associates, yet
don't put them on the market for fear they won't sell?
I say they will. And as you all know, I am bigger than
the game!

***

While we're on topic, L'il Sammy Mann and I have been
brainstorming the ideal cigar for our hypothetical puro
plantation. To add a degree of difficulty, we kept within
Embargo (insert jeers here) limitations.

We're in tentative agreement that a Sun Grown Ecuadorian
wrapper is where it's at... there we part slightly.

My offering would have an Ecuadorian Corojo... maybe
even shade grown... wrapper with an Indonesian
binder. The filler features Dominican Ligero and Peruvian
tobaccos. The Peruvian is nice for you inhalers out there.

I welcome ideas for the perfect cigar. I am aware of the
alarming absence of Honduran or Nicaraguan leaf in
that start of a recipe. Fear not! A bold line of Honduran
Corojo and Nicaraguan Criollo puros would be offered!

Lancero, panatella and "corojo" sizes would be available.

Slainte, my boys.

Tres Mystique

2005-11-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

Finishing up my second VSG Tres Mystique in four days.
Both gifts from the mystical King Carl.

The first was from 11/03, the second 05/03. Just plain
peerless.

I might ask Marvin Shanken if it is technically a "petit
corojo" size! The latest edition of the cigar companion has
an interesting bit of information in the glossary section.

Apparently, "corojo" is a specific and very popular cigar
size, as in "the sun's majestic corojo."

If you're in need of a proofreader, don't hesitate to call.

For the Record

2005-11-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

I have been having a bit of fun at the expense
of General and their future parent company Altadis.

I thought, to be fair, I'd have to mention some offerings
from the companies (still sounds weird to say
"company") that I enjoy.

1. Romeo y Julieta - 1875
I enjoy an Exhibicion #1, Bully and Churchill from time
to time. Unlike many others in the Altadis family,
the pricing is very reasonable and the leaf is
superb.

2. Punch - Rothschilds
Both the EMS & Rare Corojo versions are a fine cigar,
as far as I'm concerned. The Rare Corojo has fallen
off a bit in recent years, but I still regard it as a good
smoke. Truth be told, I like most of the Punch
offerings. The Chateau L is quite good.

3. Sancho Panza - All Lines.
Hard for me to argue with Sancho Panzas, be they
the standard, Extra Fuerte or Double Maduro. Consistent
flavor, great construction, bargain price.
What's not to like?

4. Henry Clay.

There are more, if I think about it hard enough,
and taste is subjective. I just don't want to make it appear
that my "dog" brush takes strokes that
broadly.

Now, when we get into the debate over whether
I'd drop 10 bones on a Bahia Gold Churchill or
a Montecristo #3, it remains a debate only if the
country of origin on the Monte sports a bearded president.

And the debate over a Camacho Corojo Petit or
a Punch Elite is a short one as well.

So, as the crow flies forward on the General-Altadis
merger story, don't let it be said that his reportage
hand isn't even down the line.

Nostrovia.

2005-10-31T06:18:00.000-08:00

The White Gold is fantastic, after all. The combination of powerful leaf and patient aging makes it unforgettable! If I had to select the quality I loved the most, it would be that though it displays that ligero-seco intensity, it smokes smoother than the two "mild" category cigars I've had today. Great throat pull, and you can take it all in if you choose!

Breaking News!!!

2005-10-31T06:12:00.000-08:00

General Cigar and Altadis to Merge!

You heard it here first, folks! My Unnamed Source has confirmed
that General Cigar Holdings, Inc. will be working in cooperation
with Altadis U.S.A., makers of the Royal Jamaican Oro Rojo,
in a bid to "squeeze out the little guys and usher in the twenty-
first century Cuban market!"

That's right! My Top Secret Mole at Altadis laid it out in simple
corporatespeak:

"What we're bringing here is a paradigm shift, a redefinition of
positions. You see, we've realized that, with some exceptions,
Altadis U.S.A. and General Cigar have some common ground
to stand on; namely, the use of marquee Cuban names on
overpriced, mediocre cigars! We've spent so long battling
eachother, we lost sight of your La Flor Dominicanas, Camachos
and Bahias. And when you get right down to it, our goal here
isn't to push other multinationals out of business. It's about
being the only game in town."

My Gal Friday at General agreed.

"We looked across the table, and the answer was evident.
I told them, 'Look, there isn't enough Connecticut Shade
to go around.' Here's how we work it at General: Okay,
you've got your Don Lino Africa... well, why not put
that cigar under our Bolivar band? Makes sense, doesn't
it?"

Your intrepid boozecrow has seen this coming for some
time. It makes perfect sense. General has virtually
cornered the market on polishing turds, while Altadis
has mastered the art of placing absurd price tags on
brands with little more than a recognizable Cuban name.

Add to that the two companies getting hip to one another's
corporate strategies (think a $17 Cohiba, and the turd
du jour Saint Luis Rey) and it just seemed obvious.

Due to the covenant I share with my trusted sources, don't
expect me to go Elia Kazan and start naming names.

But watch for Aficionado to start giving the Punch Grand Cru
90's this holiday season!

The merger is still in final negotiations, so watch for it
on CNBC some time around Thanksgiving.

Punchy was unavailable for comment.

2005-10-30T14:17:00.000-08:00

A fine mellow smoke.

A Slow Sunday

2005-10-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

Good tidings, lovers of leaf.

Daylight savings time ended early this morning,
apparently because there is something wrong with
our gaining sleep on a night we might actually need
it. Being rather religious about not being religious,
an extra hour from Saturday to Sunday is painfully
superfluous. Looking on the bright side, soon I'll get to
go to-and-from work in the dark! Thanks, time change!

A good start to Sunday: the first pumpkin pie of the year
and a Bahia Tico with a lovely Yemen Mocha Ismaili from
Art's Fresh Roasted Coffee of Kansas City.

The day segued nicely into lunch (Tofurky and Provolone
on a Wheat Fields baugette) a nice read ("Jesus and Yahweh,
The Names Divine" by Harold Bloom) a Pilsner Urquell and
an Ashton Cabinet #7.

The Cabinet is a perfectly fine cigar, featuring a Connecticut
Shade wrapper (well aged, of course) and a blend of four
Dominican & Cuban seed interior longfillers. The yearlong
aging requirement is evident in the smooth character of the
smoke, though I have to remain partial to the Dunhill aged
cigars, especially the lovely Romanas. If you're up for an
exceedingly mild and smooth cigar for a lazy afternoon of
Harold Bloom and turning trees, I wouldn't hesitate to
recommend the Cabinet.

In a few hours, I'll be smoking the Bahia White robusto.
A close friend in the cigar world called me yesterday to rave
about this cigar. "The White robusto I had at lunch was
one of the best cigars I've had in years." He called a bit later
to edit the statement: "The best smoke since the Padron 1926
series first came out!"

I've long favored the Gold, yet his love for this batch was too
much to resist.

I'll report. I'll decide.

***

Follow-up: Sorry to keep all five of you waiting, but the
"Breaking News" update will happen on Monday morning
or afternoon. Still some loose ends to tie up, but you won't
want to be the last on the block to hear! Tell a friend.

Small things to report

2005-10-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

Not much to review from last night, other than
opening a new tin of Ticos. Which in itself is a
reward. To be honest, the Tico is one of my favorite
cigars regardless of size.

Prepare for some changes at Puros y Ron beyond
the template -- maybe domain, name, the whole
bit. I'll keep you posted.

And I am still at work on the late breaking story from
the cigar world. I suppose after three days I might as well
leave a teaser: "If Maria Guerrero and Punchy had a
kid, what would he look like?"

Word Verification Added

2005-10-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

To those of you who have commented, I've added
a new wrinkle: word verification. Very simple, just
like signing up for an e-mail or blogger account. Type
in the word that appears. Just tired of comment
spamming, because when I delete them someone
gets around to asking me if I'm being a comment fascist.

So that's that. Feel free to call me a sanctimonious fucker
any time, though.

Nostrovia.

2005-10-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Top right! Fucking brilliant. I had the Especiales Oscuro Natural Pigtail again. There just aren't enough superlatives. I will advise not to smoke on an empty stomach, because it does pack a punch. I had it with four Guinness (Guinnei, if we're technical) and I can't imagine a better flavor marriage. Litto, you are a magnificent bastard. Your catlike goalie reflexes are a tribute to the art of cigar making. HAVE A PIGTAIL, YOU WILL THANK ME.

Breaking News to Follow!!!

2005-10-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

Hello, there smokers! I have some wild news to share
with you, but I have to check it out with my sources.

I had a very interesting conversation today with a well-
placed source in the cigar industry, who will hence be
referred to only as the "Unnamed Source."

He gave me some truly mountain moving news about two
of the bigs in the industry.

As I said, things have to be confirmed -- this isn't the New
York Times War Room! But when they do, you won't want
to miss the scoop! Stay tuned...

Tonight's smoke will be the La Flor Dominicana Especiales
Oscuro Natural, otherwise known as the "Pigtail." I've only
had one so far, and it struck me as Litto's finest hour. I can't
wait to spend a few hours with it!

Some kind folks in Indiana have linked me... after this story
breaks, I will be sure to add them to my link list! For now,
I'm working day and night on this.

We're through the looking glass here, people.

Back... and to the left... Back... and to the left.....

Tossing Feathers

2005-10-24T06:31:00.000-07:00

Well, chaps, I took one for the team today by smoking the
Punch Dart. Actually, it wasn't a bad cigar. Especially for
the money (free at participating retailers doing the Dart
Event) and the brevity of it. It wasn't quite good, either.

This is my major concern with the cigar industry as a
whole. To be more precise, it is my major concern with
the majors in the cigar industry. There are going to be
cigars which reasonable palates can disagree upon, provided
conglomerations don't run the industry into the ground
in search of a better cost ratio. Some include the Butera
La Penna, the La Flor Dominicana Double Ligero line,
the Patel Edge and Camacho Corojo. To state the debates
respectively: a bold change in profile, which is not for
everyone but if it is for you it is divine; a powerhouse
that, provided you haven't sufficient hair on your chest,
you may not want to tackle; an alarmingly smooth finish
in a corojo; and a full on assault on the senses, though from
this humble perspective one that is like being assaulted
with glass after glass of Samuel Smith's Imperial Stout.

All of these cigars share a dedication to craft and a clearly
defined vision of just what makes a smoke stand out.

The biggest problem in the industry today is that the
majors, i.e. Altadis and General, show a trepidation
beyond reason in blending a stand-out cigar.

Surely they are not the only culprits; however, with
a collection of names that are known to even the
greenest of neophytes, they stand out. Oddly, they
stand out for not standing out.

If memory serves, the last time General put out
something worth troubling with it was the Punch Rare
Corojo Rothschild. True to form, they found a way
to dilute it by imprisoning the flavors in cellophane.
As for Altadis, I suppose one could make a case for
the Romeo y Julieta Reserva Real, though making a
smooth Dominican with an Ecuador Connecticut Shade
isn't exactly putting all your chips on Red 27.

Side note: For those of you interested in a nice
Dominican with an Ecuador wrapper, smoke
Litto's Premium Line!

These two notwithstanding, look at everything else
the two big hitters have done in the last few years.
They range from average to bad, and not in the way
that the Mexican La Penna wrapper might catch a
percentage of smokers as a tad bitter. Bad is
acceptable when half of the smokers you talk to
see something in it that you might be missing. It
is unforgivable when no one can give you a defining
characteristic that makes the cigar appealing besides
the band that appears on it or the packaging it
comes in.

Moreover, conservative blends that are suited for
the middle of the road aren't all bad. Consider another
agricultural commodity that grows in the same regions
known for cigars: coffee.

I drank Maxwell House for years. (Both the morning
version, and the evening version. "Maxwell House"
was Deep South slang for Canadian Club back in the day.)
I lived next door to a Folgers facility and loved the
smell of beans being roasted by the ton. Right now,
I'm having a triple-certified organic Ethiopian Yirgacheffe.
I'm a bit picky about coffee, just like cigars and drink.
That doesn't mean I don't understand that some people
allocate their resources differently than I do. If one only
wants to spend $2 on a bundle cigar, I have no quarrel
with that. There are actually some good ones out there.
Likewise, if a person chooses to spend $4 for a can of
coffee as opposed to $12 a pound, I can see the logic in
his or her economics. (To be fair, though, one can get
tremendous deals on great coffee from his local co-op.)

What stirs my ire is how someone could spend the same
or even more money on an inferior product!

Not to go Das Kapital on you, but here's how it lays out
in terms of SRP for various lifestyle items:

1. A triple-certified quad latte from Z's Roasterie in Lawrence,
Kansas.
2. A venti latte from Starbucks.

3. A Montecristo (Dominican) #3.
4. A La Flor Dominicana Tubos 200.
5. A Bahia Gold Churchill.
6. A Cohiba (Dominican) Churchill.

7. An eight pack (16.9 oz) of Bitburger.
8. A twelve pack of Budweiser's Ricebeer.

1. $3.00 vs. 2. $3.75 without the fourth shot
3. $12 vs. 4. $6.75
5. $10.55 vs. 6. $16.55
7. $7.50 vs. 8. $10.

Variations occur depending on location. This is in the K.C. Metro.

Lest there be any confusion as to my illustration, I'll put it
into plain English: one's taste isn't determined by how much
he spends.

I could understand the failings of General and Altadis if
they offered their products at substantially lower prices than
boutique cigars such as those produced by Messrs. Borhani,
Eiroa and Gomez. The converse is the case, though.

Producing cigars "on the cheap" isn't acceptable while sharing
shelf space with producers who bleed and sweat over the
quality of their product. It is easy to use the above illustration.
Let's say you're not spending the $10 on a cigar no matter
what. Let's also say you want a medium-bodied Cameroon
wrapped cigar.

Quick Quiz: Arturo Fuente 8-5-8 at four and change or
Partagas Naturale at two dollars more?

To brass tack it, cigars are in the same category as alcohol
or coffee: luxuries. (Tea, incidentally, falls into the "necessity"
category.) The trade-off a consumer is within reason to expect
for a nonessential good is that he gets what he pays for.

You tell me what makes sense with your cigar dollars.

***

In the end, there is a very silver lining in the industry
domination by a few huge corporations: the cigar business
is still replete with family businesses whose name and pride
are attached to their products. It remains one of the few
trades that can still be run as a family or small business.

I don't see Tony Borhani selling the Bahia name to General
any time soon. Don't expect Litto Gomez to stand next to
the Don Lino Africa on shelves near you.

If your local tobbaconist is doing his job, you'll be introduced
to one of the many boutique lines out there.

Once you experience the difference, one of two things will
happen, both of which are positive: 1. thanks to your support,
top of the line cigars will be available and constantly improving
in the U.S. market, thus supplanting the corporate hacks; or,
2. the corporate hacks will get wise to the trend and try to
compete with those makers out there keeping cigars interesting.

So, what are you waiting for? Fire up an El Jocko and be
part of the great leap forward!

G2 & AI

2005-10-23T08:55:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note here:

The Graycliff G2 is phenomenal... the finish on the torpedo
is irrationally good.

The Dunhill Signed Range Coronas from April of 2003 are
ensconced in aromatic cedar.

I have been urged to be a sport about the blog. After all, we
all know the Bahia Gold, Opus X, Cuban Romeos & Partagas,
Graycliff and the like are great cigars. Looking back into the
dog of the week thing.

But not today. I have a Millennium Erico, Opus Super Beli,
LE 05 and another G2 on the cutting block, along with
some Ticos maduro and standard. It'll be a good day!

My thoughts on The National Basketball Plantation
will be posted later on The Flying Aspidistra and may well
make it to Puros y Ron.

Have a good day of football. The Bears are about to suffer a
humiliating defeat.

I'm so glad, I've got good religion

2005-10-17T09:14:00.000-07:00

Smoked the fresh Opus Perfection X yesterday with a few
Hacker-Pschorr Oktoberfests. I haven't been an Opite
through the last few years, so I will abstain from participating
in the debate about some batches not living up to the
name, &c.

All I can say is that this Perfection X was indeed close to
its name. I would possibly grade down for the ash being
a little eager to hit the tray, but that was the only thing
approaching a flaw. Incidentally, if you are after that
"raisiny" Opus you may want to get a Super Beli or
one of the larger sizes, as the Perfection was straight-up
with no raisin chaser.

I don't think I need to go on too much about a cigar that
enjoys an almost unanimous appreciation. I will say that
the Opus does a great job of putting on the hat and gloves
to give us a sense of what a great cigar used to be. I'm happy
I made it my Sunday choice.

Slainte.

Cellophane is the Devil, Bobby Boucher!

2005-10-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

Of the many trends in the cigar world today, two to be
especially thankful for are the return to Cubanesque
packaging and dedication to the craft of construction.

I had a conversation with a representative from a major
tobacco concern not too long ago which hinged upon his
bewilderment regarding the success of Rocky Patel's
The Edge.

"I just don't understand it... No band... No cellophane...
A plain wood box... A plain wood box housing one hundred
cigars! This goes against every rule of modern marketing."

So it does. Another anachronistic feature of The Edge that
the major producers might want to get hip to is its quality.
The Missile Corojo is a rare bird indeed. A deep red wonder
that (unlike many corojos and criollos) is as nice on the nose
as it is on the palate. Tonight's offering was The Edge Lite, which
lived up to its looks.

If you haven't seen The Edge up close, you ought to. As previously
noted, they come in 100-count for the various corojo and
maduro offerings, excepting the Missiles which come in hexagonal
boxes of 25 and the Lite in boxes of 50. No band, no cello (though
the first batch of Lites were held captive in cellophane, the last
batch was not-- which helped promote a far more developed flavor
marriage) and all awash in earth tones. After noticing the packaging
(and this is where some companies fall short! There is more to the
cigar, folks) even the most undiscerning eye can see that the
construction of the cigars and the wrapper leaves are exquisite.
The corojos are awfully similar to the Juan Lopez #2. In fact, they
all have that "Cuban" look to them. A brilliant sheen, a hint of
oiliness on each one. One feature can be off-putting: some of the
Toros seem very tight, even plugged. I still have yet to come across
one (or be told about one) whose burn properties suggest such, though.

In fact, as my Edge Lite proved this evening, the draw on this series
is almost unanimously spectacular. To get into some of the specifics
on the Lite: 1) a 5 1/2 year old Connecticut shade wrapper; 2) the same
Honduran ligero interior as the other Edges; 3) a healthy, effortless draw.
In the abstract, I was reminded of Assam tea and dusk in
Cloudcroft, New Mexico in November.

Far from being a detriment, the mellowness of the Connecticut shade
seemed to enhance the interior tobaccos, which were a transcendent
brick-red blend. The wrapper leaf could also withstand highway
traffic at the wheel of a Royal Enfield. The Edge Lite is a really
refreshing change of pace from cigars that focus solely on power
and others that avoid intensity and become a bit bland. The balance
of this cigar is omnipresent.

It isn't the best cigar I've had, but at less than $6.00 a stick it
is a must-try. Even if you don't feel like smoking, get one just
to look at! (Seriously, the aesthetics of the entire line are
top-notch.)

While we're on aesthetics...

Allow me to return to that trend of packaging sans pretense.

The concept of postmodern milieu rears its ugly head again.
I find myself wondering whether this absence of pretense,
in stark contrast to the new Bolivar for example, being festooned
as it is with gold and burgundy throughout the band, is in
itself pretentious. I am forced to wonder whether or not
this is a direct attempt at the smoker's unconscious, hearkening
back to the Cubans of yore or a Simon Pure product that
seeks to speak for itself. Though it is refreshing to see
a cigar in direct contrast to the cobwebbed methodology of
boom marketing, it is also a very cagey countermarketing
scheme. To brass tack it: Is it Neil Young or The White Stripes?

On an unrelated note:

Cano has come out with a new Italia size. The Novella is a
small corona akin to the Piranha. Tesekkur ederim,
Ozgener Ailesi!
One can even get an Italia football with a purchase at
participating retailers.

If you can get that ball past Litto Gomez I will personally
buy you a box of Diez Anos Americanos!

It seems I have spilled Guinness on a work shirt.
I should probably go now.

Serefe.

A Great Day to Analyze My Day

2005-10-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

I shall begin with a quick note. Those of you who have read
the full archives will notice that I had planned for a "Dog of
the Week" section on Puros y Ron. Alas, I have determined
that life is all-too brief to continue researching such sticks.

If you'd like, I'll throw out the Don Lino Africa as one not to
watch!

Yesterday was kind to me. I started off with a Bahia Millennium
Tito. Judging from all three, I'd say that as of October 2005 the
Titos are still mellow and about to catch stride; the Ericos are
either at full development or will go down in the books as one
of the top three all-time cigars should they continue to improve
by 2009; and the Diademas are improving monthly. Any of the
Millenniums will be superior smokes right this minute, but
they take very kindly to aging, especially if one can dedicate
an entire humidor to them. (If you don't have enough to do this,
I've found the Avo LE 05, Romeo y Julieta Belicoso and Monte
#2's to be adequate marrying mates.)

Also clipped from my humidor of dreams was a fantastic
Partagas Edicion Limitada 2004. All in all, that made for one
of the best cigar days I've had in some time. My companero
L'il Sammy Mann was enjoying an Avo Signature lonsdale
while I puffed on the Partagas. We got into a discussion about
Cuban v. Non-Cuban producers.

While I agree that such luminaries as Carlito, Borhani, Quesada,
Gomez, Eiroa and Uvezian have put out products that can
stand beside Cubans, nothing touches the original's je ne sais quois.
Okay, maybe I do know what... the heavy lithium content
of the soil gets you a little goofy, especially in conjunction with
a Bitburger or five.

In any event, the Limitada 2004 was everything I expected it
to be. A lush leathery wrapper. A distinctive flourish of flavors
that, though quite intense, had that element that I can only
find in Cubans and Graycliffs: inhalation of intensidad. One
seldom coughs no matter how brazenly he smokes and intakes.

It also self-corrected on the burn, much to Mr. Mann's dismay,
as he thought he had me on a point of construction (what with
his Avo Signature showing impeccable rolling) only to be
vanquished like Andy Reid to my Cuban Cowboys!

Since I can't really top yesterday and keep the humidor of
dreams intact, I may play it safe with a Bahia Gold Robusto.

I have still yet to try General's re-release of the Bolivar. May
get down to that this evening. But with one Entreacto left in
the four pack...

Tony Borhani's Deseo

2005-10-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

Stephen Jett, Esquire was on the money! The Deseo is a
tremendous smoke. After going hogwild on Entreactos it
is certainly a wake-up! There is that something about Tony
Borhani's cigars that is so very appealing to me, from the
"B" to the Trinidad to the Vintage 98, and most of all the
Gold and Millennium lines. It is a taste you can only find in
a Borhani cigar, and what it is I haven't narrowed down yet.

O yeah, and the Ticos too.

Get a few Deseos. Mine had 3 inches plus of ash with the
window down at 75 mph over bridges, &c. An attractive
nut-brown ale color to the wrapper, which was quite toothy.
The flavors and aromas were certainly earthy and woodsy,
as Mr. Jett promised.

Simply put, if you like any of Tony's cigars you will not be
disappointed in the least. If you haven't tried any, here would
be a nice place to start, as the SRP is more than reasonable.
If you don't like his cigars, man up or get your tastebuds
checked out.

Nostrovia.

And good night, Steve Jett, wherever you are!

Four Pack Foreplay

2005-10-03T17:33:00.000-07:00

Stephen Jett, Esquire urged me to post a review,
words of wisdom, ode to Xanthia... something, anyway.

Well, there isn't a whole lot new in my cigar world.
My last two cigars have been Davidoff Entreactos.
My next two will most likely be the same.

The Entreacto just might be a perfect cigar. If you'd like
to smoke for hours, there's the Double R. Special R for
that after-dinner smoke. The Entreacto suits the short
attention span without sacrificing any flavor at all.

What you have is basically a shrunken Special R with a
healthy ring in the most attractive little four pack (singles
are available, retailing at six and change, the four pack
goes for about twenty-five dollars) that compares lengthwise
to a cigarette pack. Right from the light flavors cascade
through the little fella'. There is certainly a distinct nuttiness.
I would dare say pecan-like. Don't be fooled by the size,
the body is all there.

I was at a dinner (sitting next to none other than one
Stephen Jett, Esq.) where many Davidoffs were being
sampled right as the Entreacto was being launched.
I thought it would go nicely with a pre-dinner Pilsner
Urquell (really, what doesn't?) and it certainly fit the
bill. After a bit, I had a 2000. Nice, but I was still dreaming
about the little guy. After dinner, I smoked a Millennium
Robusto which underwhelmed me. To be honest, and I
think I can since I've freely admitted the perfection of the
Entreacto and all of the Specials, the Davidoff Millennium
is all char, no spice. There just doesn't seem to be any
balance to speak of. Surprising, I know. I could be wrong,
but I've smoked a few Millenniums from Davey Dorf and
I've never thoroughly enjoyed one.

The next day I had an Entreacto with coffee. Just as pleasant
as with Urquell!

Yesterday, with Organic Valley Orange Juice. Perfect!

Tonight, Honest Assam Tea. Guess what?

Do yourself a favor and pick up a four pack. You can't get
a better cigar in this category (mild-to-medium)
for under $10 in the States. Bigger, yes.
Better, never.

If you must, call up a White Label dealer and have them
ship. Diebel's in Kansas City comes to mind.

Hope to review some new cigars soon. As soon as I finish
this four pack... okay, and the next... I'll get to work.

I'm thinking the Rocky Patel Edge Lite Toro. I came across
a few today that smelled like a dream!

Until then, Nostrovia!

Disclaimer: I have a relationship with certain retailers mentioned in this blog.
That being said, I have not been encouraged by any outside parties to
pimp product or sales venues. The boozecrow cannot be bought to play
favorites, but he certainly has them. Just wanted to clear the air, and give
the "this blog represents the thoughts and opinions of one cigar smoker
and beer lover alone and should not be tied to any outside party."

All of the names are real. Some of the stories have been changed to
protect the guilty. Namely, myself. Tchuss.

A few notes

2005-09-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

Had a rather nice weekend from a smoking point of
view. It started off with a small Montesino beli (not sure
exactly what they're calling it: Stephen Jett, would you
be so kind as to tell me?) segued into a Camacho Corojo
Petit and culminated while watching the Georgia Bulldogs
defend Sanford (and watching those Luckeyes go down to
Texas) with THE Bahia Millennium Diadema. All of this
was washed down with a bit of home brewed porter
and Carta Blanca.

To any of you out there sitting on Bahia Millenniums: though
I would suggest you keep a few of them around until
about 2009, I think the flavor is getting near that strength
peak. The one I had this weekend was gaining in complexity
and velocity. A few months ago I had an Erico that
struck me the same way. I have a very good source that
assures me the maturation process will peak at the
decade point, but I can't imagine this cigar getting better!
My annual allowance is almost spent on the Diademas,
though I'll be smoking one around Thanksgiving and I'll
be sure to pass along any observations.

I have heard that the new Ocaso Classic leaves something
to be desired.

In football news, El Universidad de Nuevo Mexico Lobos
put a beatdown on the block M (take your money, Michigan,
it appears you need it!) Tigers, just in case you missed it.

And this crow won his pool on the strength of NFC football
being gawd awful. Looking forward to a La Flor Cabinet
and a Graycliff Crystal.

In cuisine I am happy to report that my town will be
opening a Local Burger today. The concept is fantastic.
Naturally, there will be Veggie Burgers and local organic
red potato french fries. For the carnivore, Kansas beef
and bison burgers. And finally a vegan Caesar Salad!
(No anchovies in the dressing.) They don't have wine and
beer yet, but I'll eat there anyway!

Farm Aid 2005 coming up in Tinley Park, Illinois. A full report
to follow.

Corrections Dept: It appears "Steven Jett, Esquire" is actually
"Stephen Jett, Esquire." All forthcoming entries shall reflect
the accurate spelling.

Nostrovia.

Christians and Lions

2005-09-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

As of last night, the NFL football season is officially
underway. In American life, it has become a ritual rivaling
the Autumnal Equinox. Men and women across the country
establish provisions of beer and nachos, awaiting
the thrills and heartbreaks of their communities (and in
some instances, identities) that the release of the gridiron
inspires.

Too bad Hurricane Katrina wasn't a football game.
Too bad Iraq isn't the playoffs, and impending environmental
devastation isn't the Super Bowl.

If they were, I suspect Americans would be looking to impeach
our coaches and their surrogates for incompetence. Luckily for
them, affairs of state are certainly secondary in the eyes of
many.

Yesterday around 9:30 CST I found myself flipping between
the AM and FM dials: first Democracy Now and then football
coverage on the local sports station. It would have been a better
contrast to listen to the increasingly neutered NPR eight tenths
of a point down the dial, but when Amy Goodman speaks, we
must listen. At one point in the broadcast, I found myself chuckling
at Goodman's reference to numerous "FEMA fumbles." FEMA's
fumbling hasn't stirred many on the ground in the greater Kansas
City area; now, if Priest Holmes were to start of the season
with a few of those one would scarcely hear the end of it.

Such is the farcical nature of life in Middle America. Our grasp
of the real national pass time greatly exceeds our interest
in the policies and laws that govern our daily life.

As an exercise, envision the following scenario:

As we enter the 2005 Season, controversy swirls around
the GM and Coaching Staff of the Seattle Seahawks. Mike
Holmgren has chosen Russ Holcomb as his offensive coordinator,
after Holcomb was given the task of choosing an
offensive coordinator. The entire coaching staff, from
quarterbacks to defensive line, has been filled with old cronies
of Holmgren, many of whom have no NFL experience.

An exception is defensive line coach Hale Norton, who
has spent many years with the St. Louis Rams and still
shares plays with Rams coaches.

Though finishing the 2004 campaign 9-7 and losing thrice
to division rival St. Louis, Seattle seems to have made
no off-season adjustments, aside from tripling pay for their
receiving corps and substantially raising ticket prices. Trying
to improve their defense on the cheap coordinator Dan
Hinsfield has opted to play injured veterans, opining that
"You play the game with the players you got!" though the
Seahawks are well under the cap.

Though the league has repeatedly withheld permission to
do so, Holmgren has decided to rent the field itself to the
highest bidders on game day. This has alarmed many fans
who fear that Arizona owner Brandon Ben Jones (known
to many as "Brandon Holmgren" because of his ties to
the coach) could use this to control the Seahawks season
from the outside.

...If the Seahawks miss the playoffs or sustain another first-
round knockout, Coach Mike Holmgren may have to pack
his bags.

Thankfully for Seattle fans, that is only an imaginary scenario.
Lamentably for Holmgren, that last sentence was taken verbatim
from Sunday's New York Times, who doesn't seem so quick to
contemplate firings and impeachment on A1 as they do on Section
8, Page 11. As usual, the gray mare sets the tempo for our
collective consciousness and all the rest follow west.

Here in Red and Gold America, there was a firestorm over
Chiefs Bigwig Carl Peterson commenting that he hadn't received
any complaints from the season ticket holders about
defensive acquisitions or some such team defect. Carl
drew the logical conclusion that all was well, because those
with season tickets are the "real fans" and the others can
toss off. This was as close to a region wide class discussion
I have seen. "How dare he say that," the radio hosts would
shout, "that guy making $6.00 an hour shelling out for a
Chiefs jersey is just as much of a fan as..." and on and on.

Somehow the connection isn't made that if working class
and working poor folks, largely African American, can be
equal in the eyes of NFL fandom, they just may deserve
full citizenship as well.

As the last few weeks have taught us, the Administration
doesn't see it that way.

If you dare to get in the way of our national religion by
not making the playoffs with "the players you've got"
you will no doubt be held accountable. Overseeing and
actively participating in the demise of our Constitution,
not so much.

An illegal shift will get you five yards, and apparently an
illegal war will net you four years. So much for parity.

Louisiana, August 2005, apologies to the Immortal Randy Newman

2005-08-31T05:32:00.000-07:00

"Louisiana, Louisiana
They're trying to wash us away,
They're trying to wash us away."

It isn't my custom to watch the network or cable
news channels. CSPAN's Book TV is fantastic, as is
the gavel-to-gavel; but the standard fare of CNN,
MSNBC, Faux News, &c. aren't conducive to digestion.

After seeing pictures of New Orleans on The New York
Times last night, I decided I'd better get some television
coverage.

I forgot what "official reality" looked like.

Let's run down the list:

1. The Weather Channel: I watched about an hour of
coverage from the Mississippi coast. Their resident
"storm chaser" was Mr. Macho All American Love the
Kids, Proud to Know That Kid Guy. Really very little
"weather" especially when most of the scientists (LSU
Hurricane Center, Meteorologists from regional universities)
have been trying to make a point about reestablishing
the wetlands to avert further catastrophe. (Which,
by the way, they won't be doing.) And, naturally, not word
one about global climate change.

2. The Faux News Channel: Okay, I didn't watch any
of this nonsense.

3. MSNBC: Why watch Faux when you can see the same
bloody thing on the Network formerly known as news?
I love Keith Olberman. After that, the channel is pretty
much shit. You have Joe Scarborough looking for the real
killer of his intern, followed by the inimitable F... Tucker
Carlson (who could ruin the bowtie singlehandedly!)
whose pioneering journalism focused on... brace yourself...
Those awful black people!
Oh, yeah, some poor whites too.
While I must admit the footage of two NOPD ladies
looting a Wal-Mart was priceless, the sanctimonious
and unmistakably racist tone of the correspondent
(and Tucker himself) was apalling. This was certainly
not confined to MSNBC, though.

A sidenote: During the shot inside the Wal-Mart, the
correspondent hounded the looters, who were loading
up on supplies and a few choice gifts for their
children, one man said to him that no one was worried
about their lives, so why in the bloody hell would
he worry about Wal-Mart's profit-loss ratio. Though
I don't endorse looting, he has a point there. Cable news
focused sharply on the forgotten and abandoned of
New Orleans while not mentioning once (I withstood
it all for around 3.5 hours) that these were folks of
our very own Third World, the most economically
disenfranchised class in the States. Where was the
bus convoy to guide them to safety. In state government
and FEMA terms, that would've been a pennance.

3. CNN: The bulk of my time last night was spent watching
CNN, mainly because my choices were limited to it and the
aforementioned sources. If the fact that Larry King was
the most balanced and informative program on the television
last night isn't an indictment on the uselessness of mainstream
news, I don't know what is. I almost sent a fruit basket to
Kathleen Blanco. The dread in her eyes was palpable!

Naturally, Aaron Brown's show made up for it.

During the course of last night's news peruse, I witnessed
the same seven young black males walking out of stores
with T-shirts, beer and other assorted booty at least
fifteen times. The story of the night seemed to be not
"New Orleans is Sinking (And I'm Too Poor to Swim)"
but rather "Looting in the Streets of N.O."

One has to wonder: if looting is so widespread, why only
thirty seconds of loop footage?

The answer came quickly. As one CNN reporter shared,
once the "looting and rioting" (those seven guys get
around!) started in the Quarter, they were instructed to
get out of Dodge. In other words:

"Well, Anderson, Hurricane Katrina was scary. I stayed
in the hotel through it and my windows were shaking, I was
praying the rosary I tell ya' what."

"Glad to hear you're safe."

"Not for long, Anderson! That was just a Category 4.
The producers and NOPD have informed me that there are
black people everywhere! We've got to get out of here!"

Thanks for the report. How many days until Book TV?

A Quick Tasting Note

2005-08-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

While watching the ongoing debacle that is the
Detroit Lions on television last night, a
Camacho Machito called out to me. That is a
great little cigar. I will have to smoke many more
(I've had 2 to date) to judge properly, but my
beloved Ticos just might have a competitor here.

It reminds me a lot of the Corojo Petit which has
long been one of my favorites. The wrapper is nice
and leathery, and the flavor is fully developed despite
the use of dreaded cellophane. (I know the reasons
the industry likes cello; but, I would willingly take
a damaged one here and there for best flavor marriage.)
Luckily, Eiroa's cigars are stout enough that ziplocks
couldn't diminish the taste.

Call me crazy, but the cigar finished well. This is
a real out-there proposition, given it is a "mini."
I swear, though, the thing finishes like a dream with
a rich note overcoming the sharpness one is accustomed
to in Honduran tobaccos. Love this little guy.
If you get a chance, grab a tin or two.

If you're going to Super Bowl 40 in Detroit, you'll need
a quick smoke. If you're a Lions fan, you should
probably consider a churchill!

2005-08-29T09:33:00.000-07:00

Now, that's what I like to see in a big mind!

Bowties and Cigars... A note for Progressives.

2005-08-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

It strikes me that more progressives should be:
a) wearing bowties; and, b) having a good cigar. How
is it that conservatives have seemingly cornered
the market on manly fashion and luxury? Besides,
if you're on the left end of the political spectrum
you'll likely have to endure conversations with the
hard right in your daily schedule. You might not believe
it, but a shared passion can build serious bridges.

Will handing your neocon Uncle Jimmy a nice
Camacho Corojo Diploma make him see the light on
the science behind Global Warming? Most likely not.
(And save the CAFTA discussions for when you're
not smoking!) Could Chickenhawk Dave, that guy
that never spent a day in our Armed Forces but
laments that he "didn't get the honor to serve in our
military," come to admit that the recruiters were
only a phone call away? Don't bet on it.

"Then, why," you ask (progressives being a bit more
inquisitive) "would I risk my precious health and
that of others to conform to their way of life?"

See, that's where they've fooled you!

First off, being a Smokenazi is so obnoxious! It
pigeonholes you into that Hanoi Jane, West Bay
granola muncher role. Second, if you're not living
in a remote area eating an organic vegan diet, you're
likely surrounded by far more unhealthy elements
than a simple, enjoyable cigar! (Plascencia and Turrent
make an Organic, folks.) If nothing else, do it for me!
At present, I have no comeback to "Cigar prices are
so high in Colorado because of all the damned liberals."

As to bridging the gap between yourself and your
less-enlightened, Creationist Cousin Kerry: you'll have
a whole new category of things to talk about!

Here's a brief walk through of the conversation you'll
have with Lovable Uncle Jimmy provided you don't
smoke:

Jimmy: You know, you liberals are always screwing things
up!

You: How do you figure, Uncle Jimmy? By the Democrats
writing a blank check to an idiot thus sending us down
the Euphrates in an unarmored barrel?

Jimmy: How'd you like it if Saddam put a bomb up yer ass?

You: I'm not into that sort of thing. I mean, I might look at
pictures of it from time to time... but, hey, why don't you put
out that stinking cigar? There are lungs at work here.

Jimmy: You are such a pussy!

Check and mate, match to Uncle J!

Now, let's look at that conversation with a progressive
smoker:

Jimmy: You know, you liberals are always screwing everything
up!

You: Really? Well, I don't think the pinko who rolled this
Montecristo #2 is such a screw up!

Jimmy: What you got there?

You: Would you like one?

(You both light up and share a manly handshake.)

Jimmy: That is nice! You're a helluva guy, you know that?

You: Now, admit that Pat Buchanan was right about
the whole war thing!

Jimmy: I knew I shouldn't have strayed from Pat! Hey,
you like Pat too?

You: Wouldn't watch "McLaughlin Group" without him!

Jimmy: All this time I thought I was a neocon, turns out
I was really a paleocon! We should get to work on an exit
strategy.

You: From Iraq?

Jimmy: No, NAFTA!

You: Right after this cigar!

Now, wasn't that nice?

Cigars are a great way to facilitate a civilized discourse.
If one can't be had (we all know the type) then at least
you can talk about cigars instead of politics!

As for the bowties... well, they're just cool. And I need to
see someone other than George Will or F... I mean, Tucker
Carlson wear one. You heard me, Larry O'Donnell!

The time has come for me to choose an afternoon cigar.
The finalists are:

The La Flor El Jocko Maduro
Camacho SLR Maduro
Dominican Montecristo Delacroix Tubo
Camacho Havana Nacionales
&
Punch Rare Corojo Magnum from the pre-cello, better
mixture days.

Cast your vote in the "Comments" section. If you guess
the one I smoked, you'll automatically be entered in the
First Annual Steven Jett, Esquire Tobacco Appreciation
Contests. Select winners will receive FREE DAVIDOFF
CIGARS.

The contest will go on through the Fall.

Nostrovia!

So, While we're running out of oil...

2005-08-28T15:12:00.000-07:00

I have started Phase 1 of Puros y Ron, adding
links to your immediate right.

There will be more to follow.

Some will ask: Why no link to Steven Jett,
Esquire?

Well, if you'd like to share cyberspace with the man,
the experience, the way of being on the eightfold path
to complete enlightenment... you will have to earn it.
Or, he'll have to write a blog.

One site I'd encourage one and all to visit is
http://www.theoildrum.com for a bit
of news on Peak Oil. It could be scarier than you think.

You see, an industry expert by the name of Ichabod
Alvarez tipped me off to the site. No lefty he, he's
argued with me day and night about MY BOY Hugo
Chavez. If you're paying attention, the oil shock we're
about to receive will not surprise. If you're watching
the financial networks or reading Big Media, well then
you can cry about not being warned while I enjoy
a glass of homebrew.

Right now, I am indulging in the Purity of a Bitburger
and the ever-so subtle and refined changes of the AVO
LE 05.

I will leave you with this, friends: Budweiser is filthy
Rice Swill.

Aufwiedersehen.

Hello, there.

2005-08-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Thought it would be a lark to share my opinion on
cigars and libations, and even throw in the odd
political harangue. At the moment, I'm having a
rum punch and a Davidoff Robusto Intenso given to
me by Steven Jett, Esquire, sage of the Kansas City
Plaza.

I must say that it is a rather enjoyable smoke, especially
since the aforementioned Mr. Jett covered the $16 admission
fee. Quite complicated. I get the sense, though (and psychoanalysis
of cigar manufacturers will be a common feature
for the boozecrow) that our companeros at Davidoff are
blending what they think we'd like, rather than
doing it purely from an artisan perspective.

Not so with the recent Avo LE 05, which you should
get your hands on immediately... provided there are any
out there. That was a smoke for the ages!

Since I am starting as of August 2005, I feel it necessary
to compile an All Star List of smokes from the recent past,
many of which are still available:

1. Romeo y Julieta Belicoso. Naturally. Embargo! Thou
art the bane of a smoker's existence!

2. Bahia Millennium. Any size, from the Tito to the
Diademas. Probably my favorite cigar available (or,
once available) legally in the U.S. We'll throw in all
of Tony Borhani's offerings -- making pains not to leave
out the Ticos which are EASILY THE BEST SMALL
CIGARS OUT THERE, HANDS DOWN.

3. Camacho Corojo. If you're looking for a tremendous
cigar at an incredible price, Eiroa's Corojos are the ticket.

4. Padron 1964 & 1926 Maduros... and Naturals. I don't
need to say anything more.

5. The Graycliff Uncut. As the blog develops, you'll notice
that my tolerance for overpriced cigars is very low. Thing
about the Graycliff is that the retail price of around $22 isn't
asking too much if you've got it. It is seldom that most of
us have that kind of scratch for a cigar, but if you're looking
for a special occasion cigar that hasn't a peer in the U.S. market,
Avelino Lara's unreal blend is the thing for you.
Naturally, any Graycliff will do; however, the Uncut is the
highest evolution in smoking I've been privy to, excluding
Fidelito's offerings!

6. C.A.O. Criollo. I personally dig the "Mancha" size, but
anything from this line is worth a try. Rich, earthy, with a
nice full body. The great thing about Cano's Criollo is
that you can smoke it during a long drive on an empty
stomach or immediately following a table-sized calzone --
the taste and character of the cigar is undaunted by
such considerations.

The Shitlist.

I'm hoping to have a "Dog of the Week" feature, but
life is too damned short to smoke bad cigars weekly!

I'll save some info to pad that at a later date, but I would
be remiss if I didn't warn you about some of those
dog cigars lurking around the corner in your humble
tobacconist's humidor. Here's the A1, Undisputed Champeen
of Dog-Ass Cigars:

The Partagas Black Label.

Interest of full disclosure, I enjoy the standard Partagas as
well as the Limited Reserve (though it is not a $20 cigar!)
and I have come across countless smokers who enjoy the
hell out of the Black. I am willing to concede that it is a
"love it or hate it" proposition. I, for one, hate it. A whole
lot of bad flavor. If you want a strong maduro that has
some GOOD TASTE hit up the La Flor Dominicana El Jocko
Maduro. Along with the La Unica Cameroon, the El J belongs
on the "Hit List."

Until later, here's to ya'. On to another rum punch before
the ice melts.